Friday, September 07, 2012

Ah, Watermelons

We've recently been swarmed with fruit flies.  You've heard that in your life you will eat a certain amount of bugs?

 I can guarantee I am above my quota.  I can also tell you that fruit flies do go well with the Chardonnay.

Since the fruit flies like the wine as much as I do, I decided to do an experiment.  The whole catching more flies with honey than with vinegar, not true.  They go crazy for vinegar.  But, will they go more crazy for wine or vinegar?
It's a dead heat
I took the experiment one step further.  Which container will catch more fruit flies?

I'm really hoping it's the wine bottle.  It would not only be super classy to leave a bunch of wine bottles around the house, but convenient too.
Franklin does not partake in the wine

At night, I like to sit on the couch, drink a glass of wine, and I don't know, watch tv, knit, have a dance party.  Depends on the night, and possibly how much wine.  Last night, I was swarmed by so many fruit flies that I began to wonder:

 Is it me?  Am I creating fruit flies?  Is the chest wound not only gross, smelly and rotten, but also breeding fruit flies? HOLY SHIT! BUGS ARE FORMING FROM MY ROTTING FLESH!!

 I drank a second glass of wine, and another 5 fruit flies.

While the Ogre was doing dishes, and standing in his own swarm of fruit flies, I mentioned my chest wound as fruit fly breeding ground, when he yelled out:


After a hearty "huh?" from me, he explained.  The watermelon field, BEHIND OUR HOUSE, is probably why we have a fruit fly infestation. 

So, the good part of this is, I'm going to continue my fruit fly trap experiments.  I mean I should probably find out if the fruit flies prefer cheap wine, or say, a nice Vouvray.

The bad part is, our house is going to have glasses all over, like the family from Signs.
Except ours are full of wine, and vinegar, and we're fighting flies, not Aliens.

 Although, I dig the hats.

1 comment:

Twinsanity/Spinsanity said...

Jeebus, I really do think the flies are taking over the world. They go for my eyes, nose and water glass. We don't have watermelon fields. My kids want to visit you, with your all-you-can-eat field of dreams.

(my word is lawsnoti..fork, no it's not...I can't read these things! Damn, I can't hear them either. I'll just send smoke signals)