This stuff is on top of the whole Jase Bolger and the state of Michigan are afraid of women and the word vagina-a medically correct name for a FEMALE body part. Add that to Todd Akins referring to "legitimate rape." You are right. She asked for it....because she has a vagina. Really? REALLY???? Yep. 2012.
Now to why I'm a little more edgy than normal.
I had this random spot on my chest. I had it checked out by my dermatologist due family history of skin cancer. Also, because if you have a random spot, you should have it checked out family history or not.
I had a skin biopsy, and it turned out to be basal cell carcinoma. Yeah! I've got a little bit of skin cancer.
"Don't worry, it's the most common type of skin cancer! We'll give you some cream, Aldara, use it for 6 weeks, cancer gone, minimal scarring!"
Rocker...Let's get rid of this little bit of skin cancer!
Day 3-skin cancer is the tiny bit in the middle. The spots around it...maybe I used too much? What the hell is going on?
Whateves...not a big deal. Just some cream, getting rid of a little bit of skin cancer.
Oooh, awesomely, Aldara is also used on veneral warts. Going to the pharmacy = dirty whore! Awesome. The stigma of an STD, the humiliation of not being smart enough to use sunscreen!
|week 3-Yes, that is all up in my chest|
Wait! There's more...the Zombie Prom Date Knitters pretty much all agreed I needed an some sane advice. Here's what they said, "Ryan Gosling called, and he was all, Damn Girl, you best get that looked at by a medical professional."
Yeah, the ZPDK ladies and Ryan were right. My shit was infected. So I was prescribed another cream. This one for impetigo. Yeah, little kids who pick their noses and scratch at themselves get this.
Back to the pharmacy...I AM A DIRTY WHORE WHO PICKS MY NOSE AND SCRATCHES AT MY VENEREAL WARTS THAT ARE ON MY CHEST!!!
Yeah, that's what they thought. When really, it's just a little bit of skin cancer.
|week 4, + 6 days of antibiotic cream|
So, really, it's just a little bit of skin cancer. It's not a big deal. I'll take care of it. 6 weeks, cream, little bit of skin cancer gone.
In reality, Aldara cream has side effects:
- redness, itching, burning, or bleeding of the treated area
- flaking, scaling, dryness, or thickening of the skin
- swelling, stinging, or pain in the treated area
- blisters, scabs, or bumps on the skin
- back pain
And if you pick your nose and then scratch the flaking, burning itchy treated area, you will make it infected. I swear, it's really from sneezing. Sneezing on my chest. To be polite, to you. When I sneeze.
Additional side effects:
- Zero Exercise. That chest wound, getting all sweaty? NO, thank you.
- Bad fashion. Did you note those tank tops. Yeah, I've been rocking that.
- Really, bad fashion. Sometimes I just
feel like socks, sandals, the tank top and cut off exercise shorts are
really the way to go. Which is really bad, because due to the lack of exercise, my exercise shorts are kinda tight.
- Put it on your kids.
- Cover up.
- 6 weeks of "cream" to easily get rid of a little bit of skin cancer. Sounds super awesome, really isn't.
- Cut it out next time...CUT IT OUT.
- So, um, yeah. A wee bit more bitchy than normal. A little more likely to be irritated.
- I'll see you in 2 weeks...hopefully without the little bit of skin cancer.
Love, Snotty "Impetigo"
...yeah, I pick my nose and scratch, but I swear, only when I sleep.