Friday, February 17, 2012

Trying to stay distracted

I'm not that great at flying.  (I just don't have the wings for it. Ok, I got that one out of my system.) I get motion sick, so I often end up taking too much Dramamine and making an ass of myself.

I have developed a very sophisticated way to counter act the effects of Dramamine. I like to nibble chippies on the plane. It keeps me distracted from all of my hyper nervous feelings about planes, in the sky, made of metal, and lift and drag, and the ocean, and air masks, and flotation devices.

When I say nibble chippies, I actually mean plow through a whole family sized bag of Doritos.  

Last time I flew alone, I thought I'd distract myself with more than just the chippies, by watching a movie on my ipod.

I had Jennifer's Body all set up.

 I plugged in my head phones and was soon enjoying a teenage demon girl killing and eating boys.  The plane was so loud I had to keep turning the volume up.  I realized why when I stowed my electronics for landing. I didn't have the headphones in the headphone jack. That poor bastard sitting next to me.  He was covered in Doritos carnage and had to endure the audio of Jennifer's Body without the stunning visual's of Jennifer's actual Body.

 Today, today I am prepared. When we flew to Florida as a family some of my irrational fear was taken away, in an equally irrational way.  The Ogre* sat 4 rows up with the 3 Pigs. I sat alone, due to being completely useless on a plane.  Unless you need someone to barf, freak out, pass out or drool. If you need that, I'm all over it.

There was some sort of plane malfunction during taxi-ing, so we had to go back to the terminal.  I had all that preflight crazy stirred up with no where to go.  Really, no where to go.  We ended up sitting in a parked plane for 3 hours.  My original crazy of not wanting to be on the plane turned into bitch-ain't-gettin-off-this-plane-unless-it's-in-MICKEYMOUSE'SHOMETOWN!!!

Yeah. I was no longer worried about the flying part.  Plus, I got super good at words with friends.**

Today, in an attempt to quell the crazy before it gets ramped up, the Ogre offered to take my suitcase 6 hours before my flight. Why, you ask.  Because if left to my own devices, I would unpack, repack, try on every piece of clothing in my closet, and in turn, ramp up the crazy.

 It might rain, or I may need to drink a 40 on the front porch.  This dress is great for that.

Happy Week to all of you.  I am sure to have some sort of adventure related stories to tell.

 * Oh, the Ogre wedged into a plane is actually more funny than what you are imagining.

**To any of my friends I actually play words with friends with, you know this is a lie.  I still suck.



Linda said...

You must turn this Crazy Fear into an Adventure! Come on! You camp in the rain in a colapsed tent with 3Pigs! You live in the Zombie infested Mitten! You wear Prom Dresses to the Movie Theater and Knit in Public! You can do this!!!
Love you Sweetie! Have a great time with your Mom. XOXO

Bec said...

You are going to have so much fun! And you do just fine at WWF.

Cheap Flights to Lahore said...

I don't really mind what people say about my love life or anything like that, but the one thing is that, yes, I do sing and write all my own music. That is something that I hold really dear. And yeah, I made a fool of myself in front of the world, but it was also great to pick myself back up and go on tour.

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