Friday, January 13, 2012

Snow Madness, it's finally here!

We had a two day lead on this snow storm.  It was supposed to give us 8-14 inches of snow in a 36 hour period.  Were we worried?  NO!  Because knowing ahead of time meant we could prepare to be snow bound.

How does one prepare to be snowbound?  Well, it depends.  If we are snowbound and without power, personally I want to be able to eat a bowl of cereal and be able to take a dump, wipe and flush. So, I want to make sure I have:

toilet paper
fill jugs with water to flush with

Then I get to thinking, well, if we are really snowed in, I'm going to want some hooch. I mean, you are aware of what happened at the Overlook Hotel?  Stark, raving, murderous rage, filled with actual axe murder.  I'm not going to say the alcohol was a factor, I'm saying without the alcohol, Jack would have gone batshit crazy sooner.

toilet paper
fill jugs with water to flush with

Sadly, we had a two day warning about the storm and I drank the emergency bottle of wine.

On the eve of the storm, the Ogre was set to pick up
diet soda
sour cream
the snowthrower

I was going to get

Energy drinks
paint for the kitchen
cleaning supplies

Now for the day of the snow event, we were ready.  Sadly, it only snowed about 4 inches.  But school was still cancelled.  Luckily I also had waiting for a day just like this,Halo Reach, and a xbox rapid battery charger.

While the Pigs destroyed robots, I went out and cleared the drive with the newly operational toro snow thrower. (I try so hard to call it a thrower and not a blower, because, well, I hear blower is pretty dirty.)  The toro, although having spent some time at the shop, runs rather quirky.  So, I made a deal with it.  If it could stay running long enough to clear the drive, I would be neighborly and clear the drive of the family with 2 little kids.  A selfless deed.

It worked!  I got my whole drive cleared.  I took my toro and went across the street.  On my way I slide on the ice. As I fell, I realized why school was closed.  It's slippery as hell out there.

Did I give up? No, like the ass that I am, I started the toro up and attempted to be a good neighbor.  The toro stalled.  I fell again.  But did I take this as a sign to stop?  No!  No, I tried again.  I also fell again.  The toro stalled. I finally took the hint that it was time for some well earned emergency supplies, and that the toro is a selfish bitch.


beth pulsipher said...

So nice of you to try to clear your neighbor's drive! Now take your bruised butt home and have a rum and coke. It's medicinal, you know ... xoxox

meg said...

I suspect that snowblowers don't like women. I've had a problematic relationship with them, myself.