Monday, September 21, 2009

Knit with Snot

The most frequent question I get is "Why knit with snot?" Followed in frequency by "Do you really knit with snot?" Today, I will answer these questions, raise more, and show you why I love orange and green. Plus you'll under stand my desire to hermetically steal all items of importance.

You see it all starts with an orange rectangle box.

Notice the shade of orange, notice the that you could find that sucker in the aftermath of the Apocalypse and it's contents would still be intact. It's vintage 1970's Tupperware people. When I see it my little orange loving heart sings! Don't fret! This little beauty never held vegetables! It held something almost good as cake! It was Pk's sewing box!!

This is were it all started. Constant craving, desire, longing. Really, I would look into the box for hours and dream of all the awesome, no, I didn't know about awesome yet, all of the foxy, disco, rainbow things my Mom could knit and sew for me.

Then, then, she would use her wand just like in Sleeping Beauty

and zap one of these tags into the finished item:

Yeah. It never happened. No tags. Just me spending a lot of time daydreaming about the dumb things. Don't worry, Pk did make me clothes, although she did swear a lot while making them. Is that where my fine swearing skills and hatred of sewing comes from? See, it's all coming together.

Now, here is a close up of the sewing box. Notice the knitting needles, notice the sew in your finished project tag says Princess in my beloved Snotty Green. I think I transfixed my love of those tags and the love of that sewing box onto those two colors. What would Freud say. Well, since we often knit with him, he'd say pass me another Roman Coke and knit me another pair of socks, you've figured it out, Twit.

I may have also subliminally passed over the princess part, picked up the devil and well, yeah, if only my poor Mother had known that maybe television would have been a better babysitter than crafting.

Now on to the Knit with Snot. You see that I ALWAYS wanted a handmade item with sweet little tags sewn in. So, when I was starting this blog I was reminiscing, and thinking about how much I love knitting, and how special hand made items are.

But at the time my Pigs were really young and this is what I had around the house...
Then I thought to myself...I don't knit with love, I


Now do you see the whole tie in?

So it's 3 snotty boys, aka the three Little Pigs. Known as Pig 1, Pig 2 and Pig 3.
I had a 115 pound mutant Chocolate Lab named after a Scientist but everyone called Bubba, he also had a large amount of snot, an evil cat named Pippin,

a 6'6" Ogre of a husband, Chemist by trade,
grumpy by nature, Zombie Slayer by family tradition.

Oooh, the zombie thing?

Zombies. Our family protects the world from zombie invasion. Our knitting group, the Zombie Prom Date Knitters joined in the fight. In the not too distant past, a rag tag group of knitters got together to rid the world of boredom, drab colors, and the occasional walking dead. Weapons of choice: pointy sticks, spindles, shovels, and any handy household item. Now, if your back needs a sweater, shawl, scarf or rid of hunch backed brain hungry tendencies, you're in the right spot. Don't believe me?
Check out the adopt-a-highway sign on I-94 mile marker 84. Those bags are full of, well, unmentionables.

Any other questions?


Twinsanity/Spinsanity said...

Oooh, you LIE about the LIE! You know we already figured out the particular shades of orange and green you adore are the lonely ones--the last of anything that no one else actually wanted. You love them because no one else does. You just don't want anyone to know how truly big (and wierd) the heart of awesome is.

Holly Bee said...

Oh Spinny it's true! I feel bad for inanimate objects! No one likes orange or green. I will take it home and love it. I am the Charlie Brown of our freaking group. My head is of normal size though.

Carina said...

I think this needs to be bookmarked forever. People need to know the story. :)