Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Even vacation is Work with the Ogre

Well, well, while you all were hanging out and drinking lemonade, the Ogre, Pigs and I were in training for fighting against the impending zombie invasion.
Oh, laugh now, but when you're running from a mass of flannel clad stinky stumbling bodies, you're either going to thank me, or say "Wow! That was one hell of a Pearl Jam show!!"

I woke the fam every morning at 6am with this inspiration speech from one of my favorite movies:

All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!

Then some warm ups on the course. Hey, it was designed by those Ninja Warrior Guys.

They just had to modify it for fat Americas.

We'd hike out to one of our shelters built by earlier Ogre lead families.

Here we'd work on other survival skills. Eat while it's safe, pee down hill, enjoy the view while you're doing both.

If zombies really do over run everything and we are the last survivors, the pigs are planning on boosting a boat and heading out to Isle Royale.

Pig 3 has been taking boating lessons, Pig 2 is working on hot wiring, and well, Pig 1 is planning on charming a cute girl with a fully equipped yacht. I'm still not sure if were on the same page on that one, or if he's talking about something else.

As the Ogre would reflect on the training done each day, he would say these words:

We gotta get inside. It's gonna be dark soon, and they mostly hunt at night. Mostly.


Susie said...

I'm still waiting for breakfast in bed. Too energetic for 6 am.

WonderWhyGal said...

I want to train with you! Take me next time!