If this coffee is what ass tastes like, I will never lick a donkey.
But I'm drinking it, I'm drinking it for you.
Why drink it for you? To function as a semi decent human, I must have caffeine. It's a drug and it should be regulated. The Pigs aren't allowed to have it. They beg for it. They fiend for it. I say NO! You don't want to be addicted like me.
So why am I drinking ass flavored coffee. I can only guess that ass is similar to this coffee when I tell you it smells like poo and tastes worse. I'm stuck with what I have at home. What I have at home is ass.
Again, why drink it? Why not go to my sweet little local coffee shop? My town is so small, the coffee shop is closed on Sunday. Not even for religious reasons. The guy just needs a day off.
I could go to the Beer Cave and see if Paul makes a decent cup of joe, but I don't care to drink coffee from a Styrofoam cup. Plus, it's like admitting defeat, and the ass is already here.