Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I'll get you my pretty

There comes a time in every zombie slayer's life when fear makes them do amazing things. For me, that time was yesterday.

Pig 3 wanted to go for a long bike ride, so we went up to a local trail. It's 1.5 miles one way. I thought "cool, I can time myself, double the time and compare it to Sunday's 5k."

There was a train parked along the trail. No big deal, the path is next to a train track, trains go by all the time. But as my cute sweet little Pig was riding his bike, I was thinking, what if this train is full of zombies? I walked faster.

But wait, this was a train. A train wouldn't just be full of zombies, it would be full of road weary, laid off, forgotten by the world, rage filled, hobo zombies!!!!

Fear filled my heart, I had no shovel. I was out for a leisurely stroll, and some competitive walk training with Pig 3, I wasn't carrying garden tools. I did know if I walked fast enough, there was a tool shed at the end of the path. I could defend my Pig, and any exercisers with what was in there. Except extreme naturally physically fit lady, she could help slay, or be zombie fodder.

As I made it to the end of the trail, I check my timer, 19 minutes. 19 minutes? Why, double that, and that would be a 38 minute 5k. That's almost on pace with my bionic woman 5k dominating next door neighbor Julie.

I heard the train pull away, the danger was past. I walked up to a trail security guy. I checked his name badge.

"Uh, Jim, what was up with the train?"

"Compost, just transporting compost."

"Damn it Jim, I'm a zombie slayer, not an idiot!"

"Government testing just didn't seem like the go to answer."


Linda said...

You should write a book of short stories. Your imagination is wild!

Holly Bee said...

Thank you Linda! But really, Kalamazoo is just lousy with monsters. I blame Pfizer.