I was on a mission, it had to be done. So I threw out my pride and pulled into the Walmart parking lot the day before a holiday.
Why, you ask. Why go into the belly of the beast on the day before a holiday? I could answer because I'm an idiot. Or I could tell you it's for the betterment of mankind, the environment and possibly the universe. I'll leave that to you.
I walked through women's clothing, trying to blend, trying to hide my true intentions. Did you know they have twilight t shirts in there? Plus local high school logo sweatpants?
I dodged and weaved and finally worked my way back to the craft section.
How do you hide the embarrassment that you went into Walmart, on a super busy day to buy a Gemagic? It's not even a true be*dazzler! It's a be-dazzler knock off.
I did what any sensible NPR listening person would do. I hid it behind a box of Fiber One and a Scientific American.
Oh, right now you want to know what the hell I'm going to cover in gems. Here's your clue:
The mdot vest just doesn't have enough bling to match the hat.