Wednesday, March 05, 2008

We really should just have better Public Transit

Last summer is was my goal to learn how to back up using my mirrors. Right, I know, a skill that was to be learned in drivers training. Uh, well, I'm sure that kid that had someone else take his vision exam has been driving around just fine for the last 16 years too. The only damage I have done was to:

1. The garbage can

2. The occasional curb/pole/parking structure

3. My car

4. My pride

That job I had at Eddie Bauer last holiday season? Not for the discount. I had to pay for the damage to the Mazda...from backing into the garbage can. Nice.

So last night, while walking out of a lovely Cub Scout event with Pig 1 I discovered what I need to learn this summer. I stress learn this summer.

(A big SHUT UP about the Cub Scouts!!! to many of you. I am rocking it out with my Pig. We also learned about fishing last night.)

A lady was in her truck and it wouldn't start. I was all "look Pig 1, that lady's truck won't turn over."

He was like "huh?"

I was explaining that sometimes people say "turn over" because the engine won't go. He was like "oh." While saying this I was having conflicting thoughts because I KNOW I am all but useless when it comes to jump starting a car.

Yes, I can provide the juicy battery and the small car that can fit into tiny spaces, but other than's all fire and smoke and battery acid. Trust me on that one. Smoke and fire! With instructions and me reading it out loud to self and other girl, SMOKE AND FIRE. Ask Vicky B. if you see her. Smoke and Fire.

But I can't just walk by, so I offer my juicy battery and small car. The lady was like, "Yeah, there's a Church full of Men down there, you're sweet though."

I mean hell, in the days of manual transmissions you could just push it and go. But it looks like this summer, I will conquer the jump start!!! I should also look into purchasing some jumper cables. Problem is, I really don't have room for them in the Mazda5. I am so giving that car to the Ogre and buying a used diesel Volvo. Yep. Then the Pigs and I will spend the summer camping and spreading the word about Peace, Love, and French Fry Diesel.

Look!!! You can still drive a Man Truck and save the planet!!!

Also, do you feel dirty liking Al Gore because of his fight for the Planet when his wife put the bitch smack on music?

Why no knitting news? Because I suck. I'm a slow knitter. Or I'm stupid and pick out dumb patterns on too small of needles to make any real progress that's worth showing. Your choice.

But the Cancer Cape is lap worthy, if you're under 5 foot tall. It's also turning into quite the little striped sampler because I apparently can't stand doing the same thing for more than 5 minutes. So, who ever ends up with this Cape of Love better be "unique" with personal style.


Carina said...

Biodiesel rocks! Michigan doesn't charge that funny tax like that one guy I read about somewhere in the Midwest does it? So helpful . . . I'll look it up.

I used to keep the instructions for the jumper cables in my wallet, but I lost them somehow. I'll have to write out new ones. I always just follow the directions (or make David do it).

Oh, and I would love better public transit. That would be awesome!

Kristina B said...

Public transit is great (I must remind myself of this the next time I start whining about the declining service). Your experience sounds less so.

If it makes you feel better, ask JJ about my ability to reverse using my side mirrors... i.e. NONE. This would actually be a useful skill for me when attempting to park in the underground garage at my building. But I still haven't managed to acquire it.

Tracey said...

Welcome to the world of Scouting! Ya know...Tim is a certified rangemaster in Archery....and a total knot-head! He can teach your den just about anything. Xander just bridged to Boy Scouts ... earned his Arrow of Light as a's an exclusive club that you and Pig # 1 have joined! Very cool!!

Holly Bee said...

OMG!!! We were just working on knots! He will have to come back and visit to do a demo!!!

Tracey said...

He sits on the couch at night practicing various's hilarious!