Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sometimes, That Voodoo Works...

Sorry about the blizzard.

(View from my front door)

Yes, I am taking full responsibility for this one. You see I introduced the Pigs to the Pajamas-Inside-Out, Spoon-Under-the-Pillow-Snow-Day Ritual.
Yeah. You read that right. I heard about it on NPR. That's your cue to say "of course you did, Dork." But Crikey, did it work. Here's how ruddy well it worked...

1. School is canceled. Now I'm home watching Caillou. Which is cool, because Caillou is a Canadian Cartoon and they went ice skating, so acceptable snow day fare. They were also teaching Caillou French, so I guess I can move to that blizzard safe haven Montreal after all-hooohoooohooo Ogre.

2. Our back slider was frozen shut.

3. We changed the dog Berger's name to "Coyote" and let him loose on the neighborhood. (I had to, Berger couldn't hold it, and the space heater wasn't working as well as I was hoping on the slider...)

4. It worked out well because Coyote caught us some dinner.

5. The garage door, also frozen shut. But now that Berg, uh, Coyote, has taken to hunting, I may be able to get him to use his hunting mojo on the garage door.

My front porch...2 foot statue of Buddha is somewhere in the snow drifts.

Now, since the Pigs and I are fully snowbound I have certain rules...No emergency trips to the hospital. Mostly because we can't get the car out of the garage, but also because it would be pretty stupid to have to pay for the ambulance trip because the car is frozen in the garage. Also, how do you explain a mammoth carcass to the EMTs?

So, what will we do on this snowy day? The Pigs are going to get the spoons out of their pillows and put them in a place of honor.

I will actually work on a knit draft dodger pattern that's not snarky. Oh, yes friends! One that has actually numbers and directions. It's mostly out of necessity, not kindness, the kitchen curtains are actually blowing in the blizzard breeze. I got some serious knitting to do.

Again, sorry about that blizzard, but I hope you have a lovely and warm day. Go make soup.

Oh, a word on that Musical lovin' Ogre. So, you may have noticed that I have taken to cooking. Yes, and with a little Time, Love and Tenderness

some of my cooking has been edible. Last night's dinner may not count. My beans did not have enough time, to get the love they needed to get tender enough to become edible in the casserole they were in. I made up for that by making a cake. Win-Win right?

Anyway, the thanks I get from Senior Ogre? "I hope you enjoy cooking, because you sure are making a lot of messes lately."

ANARCHY! CHAOS! Do I like making subhuman food and being told it tastes like poo every night? NO! Would I rather go to a restaurant? Like the best album ever made by John Cougar...UH-HUH


Carina said...

I hope no one loses power. Those winds last night were awful, and they don't seem to have let up.

My kids are so sick that I called in for them to be absent before I realized it might be a snow day. Yeah. I have to get to Dr. Becky this afternoon. Hmm. Maybe I should call to make sure they're open.

Holly Bee said...

Girl, your school district is closed.

Sorry your kids are so sick.

Kristina B said...

Hey Holly!

Did you send the bad weather up here ? The winds are something else... at the corner near my office the traffic lights were actually spinning around on their poles! I've never seen such a thing and hope it is not an apocalyptic sign of some sort.

That sounds like some ritual from the NPR. Caillou is cool though.

wendy said...

I knew a bald guy who went to work in Alaska and everyone asked if he had a hair dryer. He figured out why when it took him 3 hours to chisel his way out of his house with a butter knife.
Good luck

Carina said...

Yup. School's closed, and we have a doctor appointment to get to this afternoon. I hope the wind dies down by then. It's nasty.

tracyb said...

My kids got a snow day too, although, there is no snow. Or ice. Just cold and apparently no electricity at one of the schools. They are all exicted because no school, however they have not realized the full ramifications of having no cable, internet or phone service! Suckers!

Kristina B said...

Tracy: I laughed out loud when I read this response. It brought back memories of "snow days" oh so long ago... and that was before internet!! (almost even before TV... LOL). BO....ring.

dee's brother said...


Our breeze picked up this afternoon...and our temp just barely....and I mean barely made it to 80. Brrrrrr!

Twinsanity/Spinsanity said...

Dee (whoever you are), please beat the shit out of your brother (wherever he is) with a space heater.

Thanks much,

Shannon, who hopes her brothers are somehow keeping warm in the 9 degrees (-4 windchill) of MI

and who also hopes docs figure out what the hell they're going to do for P's kidney stone before he whithers up and dies :-(