Saturday, December 29, 2007

Ways to Torture Myself for the First 6 Months of the New Year

First let's check out New Year's 2007 and see how I did...

2007's New Year's Resolutions

1. Be a better prepared, nicer Mom. Yep, all candy and mud for the pigs. They love it, and it's working great so far.

2. Take photos of completed knitting projects and post for all to enjoy. Actually the photos are going to be a record of where all my money goes.

3. Stop yelling at random strangers. I'm going to tazer them instead.

4. I plan to stop drinking too much and making an ass of myself.

5. Try to live more like Einstein, and Ghandi, and Buddha. But pork is so tastey.

Really #4 is a total lie, I love making a drunken ass of myself.


Gosh, I did a really good job last year! I thought I would have put in unrealistic things like "be nice to other people, blah, blah go to more peace rallies..." Oh, you thought that's what #5 was referring to? No, those guys were all vegetarians.

But really, # 3, stop yelling at strangers, tazer them instead? Check, and double check!

So, how can I top that list and better myself for 2008? I do have to say, I have to work on that #5, so let's start there and make it numero uno this year.



Ways to Torture Myself for the First 6 Months 2008
(trying to be realistic)

1. Try to live more like Einstein, and Ghandi, and Buddha.

2. Learn Spanish from someone other than Dora the Explorer.

3. With each knitting lesson, one free zombie slaying. But not if the zombie is spotted at night, or when it's cold out. Oh heck, or if it's too early in the morning, let's be reasonable here, I'm not Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she lives in Ohio.

4. Eat more veggies. Wait, that's number 1.

Ah ha! Help the Pigs to eat more veggies!! That whole candy and mud thing from last year back fired a wee bit and now the Pigs think they are entitled to non stop junk. Well the "better prepared nicer" Mom stops December 31st, and the "have a freaking apple" Mom starts Jan 1. Yeah.

5. I plan to start drinking more and making an ass of myself. I figure the Ogre should have some fun this next year too.

No mention of my cooking? These are resolutions not miracles!

Ah, not miracles, but this is a...

CONTEST!


If you make a list of 5 resolutions in the comments...and THEN in June comment again on the New Years Update Post...I will pick a winner at random...for Yarn, a Zombie Prom Date knitters something and maybe a home baked nightmare from me. Cool eh? Tell all your friends, or I'll sic my Ogre on you.

8 comments:

Carina said...

I still haven't figured out my New Year's resolutions. I blew last year's. *sigh*

Shelly said...

Hmm, I'll give it a go, whattheheck.......
1. Keep house (or at least living room) presentable enough that it's not embarassing to answer the door unexpectedly.
2. Return library books on time. For pete's sake, I can't singlehandedly support the TLC public library financially again this year!
3. Learn to knit socks (or at least "a" sock).
4. Research kindergartens for Ben-boy, and actually finally choose one.
5. Meet at least one knittyboard person in real life.

Holly Bee said...

I'm on the Knittyboard!
I can help pick a kindergarten...names+hat. Montessories are also tres jolie.

So far, you are winning the prize!

Shelly said...

Woohoo! I love prizes, but I never win. And yarn-prizes would be super-good, because I'm still pretty new and my stash is oh-so-pitiful!

Carina said...

I found last year's resolutions, and I didn't do as badly as I thought I did. Here are my new ones:
1. Actually work out every day like I'm supposed to.
2. Start House Fairy thing with kids and keep it going all year.
3. Set daily schedule for book writing and teaching prep and stick to it.
4. Finish book before April. This is so I can have it done in time to take the GRE this summer.
5. Get everything out to two publishers by the end of the month. Keep at it.
6. Spin more. Knit more. Be on-line less.
7. Get kids more involved in keeping house cleaner.

Is that too many?

shannwa said...

Here goes:
1. Blog on a more regular basis and talk more about my knitting projects, less about my ailments and little problems (yeah, that's going to happen...LOL)

2. Eat a much healthier diet; i.e. stop living off frozen food from the freezer, lunch meat and cereal.

3. Be more social. Make it to ZPDK meetings every week, barring illness or Little Man emergencies. Start making plans (and keeping them) with friends that don't only revolve around knit nights/days. Shopping and lunching could be fun, right? Not too scary. LOL

4. Find more activities to participate in with Jake. No more sitting at home day after day watching TV and playing trains, coloring etc. while I knit or play on the internets. Any suggestions for fun activities for the 3 yr. old set would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to send to shannondwire AT gmail DOT com.

5. Keep house in good enough shape to not be embarrassed at the thought of company AND make an effort to have some sort of gathering here every sex weeks or so. Anyone need an extra knitting night? I'll provide the beer and wine, you bring the goodies?!?!

There. It's not everything, but it's a start.

kristinknits said...

I am not usually one to make the kind of resolutions that say I will stop swearing or work out everyday or stop drinking Mexi-Coke. Why? Because there is just no frickin' way I am doing any of that $*%#! So, I thought I'd go big, but realistic.

Here are my 5 resolutions:

1. Learn to sew
2. Get married
3. Go on a kick ass honeymoon
4. Finish at least 3 knitting projects
5. Write millions (okay - hundreds) of thank you notes

Kristina B said...

Good list of torture vehicles.

My list:

1. Quit smoking
2. Learn to speak French properly.
3. Quit smoking
4. Learn to sew own clothes
5. Stop ranting at the evening news. In fact, stop watching it.
6. Give up smoking.
7. Start cleaning the house or getting someone in to clean it on a regular basis (i.e. before it gets to the point that you have to hire a steamshovel).
8. Stop hoarding.
9. Stop going to the LYS every PayDay. Every other PayDay is sufficient.
10. Give up smoking.

So far, only #2 has come to fruition. Oh well, there's still 357 days to go. Oh wait... 368. It's a leap year! I love leap years!! :-)