Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Santa! How Ogre art Thou?


Knitting! Zombies! Pigs! Santa...

Did I ever tell you the story about the year Santa got out of his sleigh to check out the rum drink I was working on and how we had to battle a whole legion of brain hungry zombies? Well, that's pretty much the story.

Turns out, Santa ships rum to the North Pole by the barrel and he's much more akin to a modern day Captain Jack Sparrow/Aburey than the above photo would suggest. Plus the man can swing a pick ax. Did you know he carries one of those in his sleigh...in case of zombies.

Here is what I learned Santa has in his sleigh, besides the toys, and hand knit mittens, knit by him, not Mrs Claus, and she goes by Sandy...

Pick Ax-turns out, him and the 7 dwarves, cousins. There's no Prince Charming either. It's all Doc. He's just taller than the rest, cuter too.

Appleton Estate Rum. Goes nice with hot beverages, goes nice with soda. It's an all climate drink. A fine world traveler. Do you really think he's drinking all that milk? Reindeer, people! Reindeer loooove milk and cookies!

A copy of Pitch Forks and Torches-The Ogre's Plight I said he was cousins with the Dwarves, he's not a Dwarf! Santa's a beast! Ok, Santa's an Ogre Baby! I knew I liked that guy.

Reindeer Stocking Kit from Peace Fleece
That's right, Santa has time to deliver all those gifts, fight zombies, support good causes and make stockings for his Reindeer buddies with pictures of his Reindeer buddies on them. He's a class act.


6 comments:

Kristina B said...

If I knew Santa was such a cool dude, I wouldn't have stopped believing him him... er... 30something years ago.

Holly Bee said...

That's why he doesn't stop at your house!

Carina said...

Anna decided last year that we had to leave cookies out for Mrs. Santa, too, since it wasn't fair that Santa got all of the cookies every year. I wholeheartedly agree. ;)

Kristina B said...

Hey - "Santa" bought me an airfare to England and France. So, I'm not doing too shabby despite my atheism (er, asantism? Is that a word?)

:)

Kristina B said...

Hi Holly: this is OT - but in case you're not on their Email list, Knitty Winter issue is out today.

Are you still boycotting Vogue?

Holly Bee said...

Vogue is crap. Unless they publish you.