Pig 3 and I had his Pumpkin Patch/Apple Orchard Field trip yesterday. If you are going to volunteer to take a bunch of snot monsters on a field trip, go with the late show.
I tell you, those PM Moms are not all freaky "My Daughter's going to be a gymnast/Senator/Cheerleader, HEY! My kid gets the first donut" type.
Really, it was a laid back, overalls and boots crowd. I even found a lady with a spouse who was on an obsessive Tie Dye kick to rival the one I had been on a few years back. Ah, yes Kristina, the very day we talk about yarn dying and how I can never start due to my court order which states....
blah, blah, blah, is to stay 20 feet away from tie dye kits at craft stores, rit dye at grocery, fabric, or building supply centers, may not order from catalogs containing said items, may not partake in activities which involve dyes, dying, or food coloring.
Yeah, the Pigs don't get to dye eggs in the spring. That's right, it's a serious problem, there was counseling.
It all started...que the fog machine and the flashback...because the Pigs are pigs, and the Ogre and I fight the Epic Battle, which happens to be messy, which leads to hippies, and what do hippies wear? Tie Dye. Why? It hides dirt.
Which reminds me of my favorite joke.
How do you hid money from a hippie?
You put it under the soap.
I used to live in my car in California. Please don't tell the Ogre, I don't know if he knows that, or for how long, actually, he may think I made that up. No, I never met Jewel, that I know of.
Anyway, I figured before Pig 2 came along I would just Tie Dye up all Pig 1's old baby clothes to hide the stains. Also, that way if the ultrasound was wrong I would have unisex clothes for the new baby pig.
Let's just say, instead of a yarn stash, I used to have a Tie Dye Stash. The Ogre used to complain that it gave him nightmares because he was in such a brightly colored house. Especially since his favorite color has been known to be "clear" for many years, with black a close second.
Even the Ogres soccer socks, his soccer towel, our Grange Pancake Tent Aprons, our 4th of July Parade uniforms, and of course all the baby clothes both old and new were rainbow colored. I mean if you're going to Tie Dye, you might as well Tie Dye, right?
As for the knitting! This is from the first night of knitting. Much further now, I did knit through swimming and Scout meeting. Well, except when I was learning the secret hand shake and yelling along with table 2 (which my pig wasn't even sitting at) so that they could get snack first. Hey, table 2 had no parents, and no helpers and the kids were stinky, they needed me. I might make a difference! Yes, table 2 will be deaf and chubby! No, I helped them with their badge work.
Anyway, I think I can finish this if I put off grocery shopping for another week. But I think even the Pigs are getting sick of eating pancakes. Me, formerly the World's Worst Vegetarian, what have I been eating for dinner? BEEF JERKY!!! It'll go bad if no one eats it and that would be wasting, and wasting is worse than it being, well dead in the first place. Plus, it's the super hot kind from Stubby's and no one else will eat it so it's all up to me. So I also have to admit my dinners have been Beef Jerky and Ghirardelli Chocolates left over from Valentines Day. Why? What do you do when you eat flaming hot beer jerky, I don't drink milk, ice cream and beef jerky is gross. I can't drink beer. So, chocolate it is.