This morning I was trying to teach an old Ogre new tricks. Sure, he can slay an angry mob of Zombies, but when it comes to regular humans, he's really kind of shy and nice.
I offered him my favorite shiv. He replied that would be odd in a conference room. I said he could defend himself with a letter opener. Again, stands out. I mean, he's a giant zombie fighting beast, and here I am giving him personal defense strategies. I finally told him to bring a sturdy pen and hope for the best.
You can turn anything into a shiv...
I was offering him my favorite pen.
Now, with Pig 3's tonsillectomy is looming over me like a giant ray of Arizona sunshine. Really, it's hot there. I prefer a nice 50 degree day and clouds. Oh, today may be my perfect day! Anyway, I was a bit on the flipped out side yesterday. Like, flipped out. Tears. Me.
So, what did I do? I sent all the Pigs to school, stopped by Jackie and Marshall's house, drank their Diet Coke, helped fix their door bell, drank all the Diet Coke at my house, hung blinds in the kitchen, donated stuff to Goodwill, talked about football with the guy there, chatted about the Red Sox with the lady there, and then ended up at Stitching Memories.
What happened there? I acted all normal. I asked about yarn. I looked for the ice cream yarn to make another Beribboned Eyelets Sweater, I felt up some soy silk and then realized I had some at home.
I walked over to books. Ah, that's when the crazy kicked in. They don't have Interweave Knits Holiday yet, and I need something to read in the waiting room...so I got like 4 books. No idea what I picked out.
At the counter, Red Lipstick Chick was all "Hey, NFL Chick! Your yarn should be here soon! Happy Book day! Love your backpack, I have a bunch of Vera Bradley Mesa too!"
Then I lost it. Here we are sisters in Vera Bradley Bags and knitting, and I was all boycotting the store. So, I let loose with the whole sob story..."blah,blah, books-read-waiting room-pig3-tonsils-thursday, whaaaaaaa."
She all but hugged me and told me it would be ok, and I would have lot's to read and it was double punch day for my savings card, and that Vera Bags were on sale 1/2 off at the University Book Store, and Pig 3 would probably do better than I would and it was going to be fine.
As I walked out of the yarn store I thought, Dang, I did all that cleaning and house work and all I really needed was to drop some cash at the yarn store.