Thursday, September 13, 2007

No, We Didn't Eat Them-We Fed Them Poison Cake

Ah, we had the Grandpas over last night. Yep, Grandpas Duck and New York. That would be the Ogre's Human Grandfather and the Ogre's Ogre Father, thank you very much.

Nana New York is off teaching humans how to be organized in D.C. and I get to be an example of either a person who uses a planner or what can go wrong when a person depends too heavily on a planner.

Not sure exactly how I fit in, but uh, these photos were used in the planner lesson. I love my planner necklace, it really helps with planning and not losing my planner behind the oven.

Anyway, my cooking is questionable at best. So I was very glad that my buddy Deborah and I had recently gone to Super Suppers in Portage. I was able to trick the Grandpas into thinking that I was in fact a Gourmet cook. We had the Asian Flank Steak. Yes, the same Asian Flank Steak that caused me to jump off the Vegetarian cart and eat the darn Ox pulling it. Am I embarrassed when my Vegetarian Times magazine arrives in my mailbox? Yes. Yes, I am.

I have also had to redouble my recycling and energy saving efforts in my home to make up for, well, the future insane beef consumption I plan on doing. And the Ogre thought the house was cold at 65 degrees last year (that's 18 for my Metric friends.)

Well now, the dessert I didn't pick that up there. I again tried to Poison them with an attempt at baking. But it was poisoning with love. I am sure that won't hold in court. But they ate it, and I think they're ok. I ate it too. I think the Ogre fed his to the dog, and well, the dog's not in great shape anyway, so that might not be good. I hope my baking is like arsenic and they build up a tolerance to it and it all ends up ok. Or, I gradually become a really great baker and, yeah, I just hope I don't send anyone to the emergency room.

On the knitting can't polish a turd. Or actually, I took what was a really pretty Noro Gem stone, and inserted my turdish sewing ability into it.


Kristina B said...

Life on the non-veg wagon can be good... does the Portage dinner place deliver to TO?! ;-)

Your blog cracks me up. A coworker just came in wanting to know what was so funny. She could hear me laughing 2 doors away. Couldn't share the joke with the class as she is a hardcore vegan who would probably bop me one and then come on down there to find YOU!

Holly Bee said...

Well, Kristina b, I checked and the nearest Super Suppers is in Niagra Falls-U.S. side. But I did send them email told there was a need in the TO area :)

As for meat eating...I wore my "I will evolve" anti petroleum shirt today. The shirt which is too small and too tight and well, I feel uncomfortable wearing it.

But I wore it for the cows man, for the tastey, tastey,cows that I ate and were soo good.

I also wore my new brown and pink chunks, no cow there.

Yeah, don't tell the vegan about the cow.

Kristina B said...

Niagara Falls NY... hmm. Only a two hour drive. Will be checking that out at some point, I'm sure! Definetely a need in the TO area and I'm sure all the downtown yuppies would be lining up. . ;-) There is a place like that near my apartment called "Urban Fare", to be fair - but the quality of the food does not to my tastebuds anywhere match the price! :-(

Your secret is safe from the vegan, never fear. Selfish on my part really - the last time I slipped up and referred to a male colleague (the topic of a gossip session) as a "pig" I received the silent treatment for 2 weeks. ;-( My workplace has an interesting culinary mix of people: of 18 souls, 3 are vegan, 9 vegetarian, 6 "omnivore" and 2 (including myself) carnivore (i.e. don't like veggies too much)!