Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The Epic Battle, er Journey, NO, Not Steve Perry

People ask why I knit, and I tell them, "Oh, it relaxes me." But it's a total lie. If you look to the read my "knit theory" or follow the progress of any of my projects you know that knitting really doesn't relax me.

It's more of an epic battle, like the 100 years war (I get that it wasn't really 100 years, but it was close.) Ok, you won't agree to epic battle? Then my knitting is akin to an epic journey, and now I will have to start naming my projects after epic journeys. My current ones not so tough. The tank top o' hemp for Beth's Birthday, in July, uh, 07. I dub thy project Jason.

So, why do I need to knit?

I married an Ogre, he's using my baby as a football. I need to knit to have something to concentrate on so I can properly ignore these sorts of activites. "Look Holly! Ye Olde Huck N' Buck!"

Awww, the football is tired, and needs a rest. Actually, this was taken during the height of my not being able to knit so this is what I was doing...

Home amputations!!! No, I was fixing my tent the proper way, by cutting my leg off with a hack saw. Actually, I bought a tent pole repair kit, followed the instructions, and fixed the tent. I also properly patched the tent hole. To up the anty, I also purchased a $500 tent, for $50.

Yes, only here at Knit with Snot do deals like this happen. Pretending that you broke your arm camping and kayaking with your 3 little pigs, broke your tent in a freak thunderstorm and then holding out your regulation sized softball arm and then saying that you have a Dr's appt that afternoon gets you a great deal on a top of the line previously used as a rental tent. (laughs like Dr Evil, just like Dr Evil, Shaves Cat to feel more Evil, evil laugh-waaahaaahaaahaaa.)
Here is what I would look like if I had short hair! This is Carter, my brother, wearing the famous Tiger's Orange. During the "no knitting" I was thinking about falling for the classic insanity inspired despairation short hair cut. Then I found this photo and realized I would look exactly like my brother. He's cute and all, but I have 3 pigs, and I often smell like a man anyway, it would just be awkward.

So, the knitting, and the photos, and the trouble I get myself into? Yes, yes, what's the ruddy deal? I knitted last night!!!

I was all 'will the time away from knitting make me better at it?' or 'will I develop magic powers of levitation and be able to float up to my bed after this last row?' or 'will there be an end to hunger and war?'

No, I just discovered I hate knitting and I need a new hobby.

Did you fall for that? I could hardly type it I was giggling so hard. I love it! I knit until I could knit no more!

Also, news flash!!! Veronica Mars, ok the actress who portrayed Veronica Mars, Kristen Bell, who the Ogre was all, "she's 27!!!" Like he could magically date her or something.

After all that, she will be on Heroes for three or more episodes this fall. I love Kristen Bell. I think of her as a younger, cooler, tv star me. That's right, tv star me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE that picture of my brother. I laughed so hard and made Jill look at the pic too lol
... I think that I was going to comment more, but the dog distracted me and I lost it...oh well.
love
kat

Melissa said...

The football baby pictures are hilarious!
Good job scoring a deal on that tent! Too bad you didn't do you Dr. Evil laugh on the way out of the store!

Carina said...

I love Veronica Mars! Will she be another cheerleader so they can save her and save the world?

Holly Bee said...

Ah, yes, we are thinking of changing pig 3's name to "football."

Kat, your holiday gift will can be a poster size photo of that picture if you want.


Kristen Bell was just said to be a mystery character who will either be good or bad, blah, blah, blah.