Monday, May 28, 2007

Knit with Strep for You and the Sky Barf of Doom

We did in fact go to the ER on Saturday. Pig #3 had his throat swabbed, was diagnosed with Strep Throat and threatened with a tylenol suppository.

My response to the ER Dr offering tyelnol in that form was slack jawed surprise, dismay and a hearty "uh, no, we'll just put some liquid pain killer in soda, thanks." As if the kid wasn't traumatized enough.

I was then asked if I had a pain killer dosage chart and to dose my Pigs according to weight not age. I was also asked how my not yet 3 year old was so freakishly tall. I mentioned that his dad was an Ogre. It was then her turn for slack jawed surprise. It's not often you hear tell of Ogres, let alone Ogre children.

In an effort to keep Pig 1 from being around his strep infected brothers, the Ogre took him to Grange. Maybe it was the excitement of hearing about the upcoming Pancake Tent at the Calhoun County Fair, maybe he too wanted toast, either way, Pig 1 had some illness of his own later that night.

Now Pig 1 and Pig 3 share a set of bunk beds, with Pig 1 sleeping in the top most bunk. We don't use the ladder that came with the bunks, the Pigs were fond of using it as a battle ram, means of torture, or whatever suited their needs. The way Pigs get to the top bunk is by climbing the end of the bed, scooting up to the top of a well built dresser and then hopping up to the top. It's all very Pollyanna.

Being the tidiest of the 3 pigs, Pig 1 did not want to vomit in his bed. His solution to not befouling his personal space was to sit atop the dresser and hurl down onto all his belongings. The Ogre walked in on this scene and dubbed the technique Sky Barfing. As in "Pig 1 destroyed a multitude of books with his act of Sky Barfing last night," or "because of Sky Barf, the Pigs' room is much cleaner." Cleaner because we threw away a bunch of junk, and found better homes for other items. Pig 1 is now required to sleep with a barf bowl in his bed, just in case.

As for knitting, my socks on 2 circs are not technically soaring, and I have come to loath the whole Cat Bordhi style of calling me an idiot.

For example, on page 7 of Socks Soar on Two Circular Needles she states " may choose to place a marker on each needle to remind you to decrease. Or you may be like me and feel you're perfectly capable of seeing where to decrease without a marker."

She might as well just come out and say "if you weren't such a drooling idiot, you would be able to see where to decrease without a marker. But, alas, I am awesome and you are stupid, but it's cool, I'm glad you're stupid. Stupid people buy my book, haahaahaahaaa, on my way to the bank."

Argh. Bitter much? A bit. I shelled out like $15 for a pamphlet style book that picks away at my already shakey self esteem.


Mrs. H said...

Just do what I do. Make or buy some pretty stitch markers and say, "Well, I'd do it without the markers, but it would be such a shame to not use these since they're so pretty and I made/bought them."

Hope the kids feel better or at least find ways to barf without being so creative about it. :)

Carina said...

I agree. Use pretty stitch markers, and it'll all be better anyway. It is an odd way for her to phrase it . . .

Man. The kids are just sick. That is soooo weird. You'd think the warm weather would've killed all of that stuff going around. I'm sorry for the massive barf cleanup. :-(

Oh, but I got you pretty yarn up north at the Ludington shop--two kinds! Does that help?

Holly Bee said...

I like stitch markers, I neeeeed them. Not because I am stupid, I could find where I am, but why waste time.

I do like the idea of pretty markers though. I use itty bitty rubber bands because I lose them so quickly.

I can't clean up barf! I sympathy barf. If I didn't have the Ogre I would have to hire someone to come in just to clean barf, or move!!

Yarn?!! You got me yarn?!! Aawwwh! I do feel better :)

Mrs. H said...

Ah, yes... sympathy barf. Only in my case it's, eeeewww I am so grossed out barf. Just can't stand doing that.