Thursday, April 12, 2007

Kindergarten Round Up

Kindergarten Round Up is where the Public school system makes a cattle call for all children who will be 5 by Dec of the next school year.

You then take your perfect, sweet, smartest kid in the world, and have them tested by "professionals" to see where they are compared to the average kid. This seems silly because you know your kid is by far smarter than any of the booger eating, bed wetters you've seen.

Then of course during orientation your own beautiful child begins picking his nose. Said child returns from testing with his stick figure drawing, while the girl next to him shows a Rembrandt quality painting to her Mother. You then bitterly tell yourself that she's probably a show child and not really loved the way you love your own child.

Ah, yes, under the snow the daffodils are blooming and the schools all have there Kindergarten Registration pleas up. I have taken notice this year because it's Pig 2's turn to be round up.

Pk generally flips out when kids turn 5. It's the defining line between baby and kid. She's more of a baby person, wishes she "had a 100." Yeah, like puppies, babies turn into dogs, or pigs in my case. I'd take a fleet of pigs over a fleet of babies any day. Babies scare me, and they barf a lot.

So my newly 5 year old will be rounded up very soon. That was not a gentle breeze you heard, it was a sigh of relief.


stacey said...

I hate that blasted testing. They are a bunch of haters, who are only looking for conformity. My son drew his picture...and included the heart, and various other organs, but forgot feet or they scored him low. I would think a heart is more important than a foot...but perhaps not.
Maybe it's just not good to have a mother that is a nurse practitioner.

Holly Bee said...

I know! It's like a weird brand of child conformity evil.

I agree about the heart. A much more intelligent choice than a foot!