It all started with pancakes.
The little boys and I met Grandpa Marty and Grandma Alice for breakfast. As we were leaving I asked one of the ladies if she remembered where they got the tables when they did the remodel. She said "yeah, Perkins up on West Main after their remodel." I was like "Perkins, West Main, great."
You see, with the three boys, my kitchen table, also known as my second date gift, is a wee bit on the destroyed, too nasty for humans to eat off of side. Plus there was a big chunk missing out of the top. Hey, as for the second date gift table, Ogres give gifts, just not always the regular flowers. Did you learn nothing from Shrek? Ogres are like onions, they have layers.
So I have had it in my mind that since a restaurant table goes through more abuse than even my pigs can dish out, it would be the only sensible thing to get. Yes, I have checked the internet. I can have pretty much anything I could ever want, including a whole 50's style shiny formica booth, but the shipping is, eh, a bit on the pricey side.
After my hopes were shot down by Uncle Ernie's ability to obtain tables, we decided it was time to give up on the table and unload Cy onto his school. Which eventually got us to the Aunties' new house. While there I asked them where they had gotten their table. I asked this because it didn't look like standard issue Art Van Clearance Center goods. They said it was from Grape Vine Furniture down town. Ah, ha! Fate was leading me to second hand shops!
Since Grape Vine is waaay down town, and Owee was getting toward nap time and I probably wouldn't find anything anyway, and the whole trip would be a waste of gas, we ended up at Second Hand Furniture on Westnedge...
They had a round oak top table with a restaurant style base marked down from $165 to $100. I asked if they could hold it for me. The guy said he couldn't hold it because it was on consignment.
Just when I had decided that I could come back with the Ogre and get it later, a lady and her parents showed up and were touching all over my table. No one touches all over my table. Not as strong as no one puts baby in a corner, but I think you feel my rage.
I bought it. The guy took the sign off the table and the people left in a flurry of coats and harsh stares. Whatever.
Now, the logistics of fitting a table into the Mazda 5 were hurting my brain, so we swiped the Ogre's Durango.
Yeah, he parked in such a way that I would never be able to put it back where it was. You guessed it, he parked in a space between two cars. I also had to back it up to get it out. Did I mention I drive a Mazda 5? I used to drive little cars, like the mighty Ford Escort, VW Superbeetle, Honda, or Toyota. I have also been known to back into the only other car in an empty parking lot. It's ugly but true.
The table base had to be removed from the top, and while the only guy working the store was helping me load the table, the store alarm was going off. As I drove away and he ran inside to stop people stealing a used sofa I thought "sucker," until I realized who the real sucker was.
I hadn't planned out how to get the table out of the Durango when I got home. I am barely 5'4", and the table is about as big as me. Turns out, it's really good we don't have a hitch, and I rolled that table into the house, put it back together, and sort of had two tables in our kitchen.
Now, to return the truck. I decided to get it washed as a thank you. Did I realize I had to steer it into the drag your car along in neutral path? No. Was I afraid? Yes. Did I get yelled at by the carwash guys? Happily no! They did laugh and enthusiastically wave left, left.
So, in the end, we have a clean Durango, new table, an injured back, and a dirty oven. Oh, the oven got dirty because I dropped the pizza I home made back into the oven because my back no longer works.
Oh, with the messed up back it left plenty of time to work on Eric's brown and yellow WMU Go Broncos hat.