Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Popped rib...it's a thing

A couple of years ago, I popped a rib. I know, you're like "whateves, popped a rib? What does that even mean?"  In my case, it means I stood on top of a washing machine, and forcefully removed a rug. When the rug came free of the washer, there was a loud "POP."  Yeah, that was a rib in my chest popping loose of it's normal spot on the sternum.  Ouch!
That 3rd one down. Yep, on the left.
I'd like to point out that said rug was not put into said washer by me.  I did choose to defeat the stuck rug of my own free will.

Soon after that, I fell off the porch, gave myself whiplash and ended up in physical therapy.  I didn't really notice the pain in the chest, due to the pain in the neck. Also, no one beats me. I really do all of my own stunts, and damn, yo, not well.

Recently, I started having chest pain.  I was all "Ogre, I'm having a heart attack just like Rosie!" He asked how long I had been experiencing chest pain.  "Ever since I started exercising. Wait, maybe after I fell down over the dog gate. Either way, it's been like a month. I think it's a really slow heart attack."

He said I should stop doing my own stunts. Or grow longer legs, not fall over the dog gate, and it was my rib again.

NOOOOOOO! Not the rib!  It couldn't be that again.  That's all healed and awesome!

So, after 2 months, I went to see my Doctor.  How embarrassing is it to admit to popping a rib while pulling a rug out of a washer? Not nearly as embarrassing as the rest of my medical record.  The verdict this time...irritated joint between the rib and sternum and a torn pec!

What the hell does a person do for that?  Do you get narcotics?  NOOOOOO!  As AtYourBecandCall would say "You get RICE!"

Rest
Ice
Compression
Elevation

There are a few issues with the compression, and elevation since, it's my chest and all.  But, I should be better in about 8 weeks. I'm sort of hoping for another dance induced whiplash incident to take my mind off my chest pain. (You should really check out that last link.  It's a post about dancing, Led Zeppelin, and cash money.)


4 comments:

Bec said...

RICE is my friend! Usually it is just frozen fruit down my pants. I had some berries that I called my butt berries. My back appreciated them. Keep up with the RI!

Holly Bee said...

I absolutely LOVE that you had butt berries!! I need some sort of dirty boob fruit.

Jess Schleicher said...

Well... These are the risks of doing your own stunts. Feel better! :)

Linda said...

I'm going to have to agree with Ogre here. Since you can't grow taller I think you need a stunt double. You have 3 Pigs in the house. Harness their super powers!