Sunday, August 26, 2012

Yes, it does make me a little edgy

I've got some stuff going on.  This "stuff" is seriously adding to my general state of bitchiness.

This stuff is on top of the whole Jase Bolger and the state of Michigan are afraid of women and the word vagina-a medically correct name for a FEMALE body part.  Add that to Todd Akins referring to "legitimate rape."  You are right. She asked for it....because she has a vagina. Really? REALLY???? Yep. 2012.

Now to why I'm a little more edgy than normal.

I had this random spot on my chest. I had it checked out by my dermatologist due family history of skin cancer. Also, because if you have a random spot, you should have it checked out family history or not.

I had a skin biopsy, and it turned out to be basal cell carcinoma.  Yeah! I've got a little bit of skin cancer.

"Don't worry, it's the most common type of skin cancer!  We'll give you some cream, Aldara, use it for 6 weeks, cancer gone, minimal scarring!"

Rocker...Let's get rid of this little bit of skin cancer!

Day 3-skin cancer is the tiny bit in the middle.  The spots around it...maybe I used too much? What the hell is going on?

 Whateves...not a big deal.  Just some cream, getting rid of a little bit of skin cancer.
week 2

week 3

Oooh, awesomely, Aldara is also used on veneral warts.  Going to the pharmacy = dirty whore!  Awesome. The stigma of an STD, the humiliation of not being smart enough to use sunscreen!



week 3-Yes, that is all up in my chest



Wait! There's more...the Zombie Prom Date Knitters pretty much all agreed I needed an some sane advice.  Here's what they said, "Ryan Gosling called, and he was all, Damn Girl, you best get that looked at by a medical professional."

Yeah, the ZPDK ladies and Ryan were right.  My shit was infected.  So I was prescribed another cream. This one for impetigo. Yeah, little kids who pick their noses and scratch at themselves get this.

 Back to the pharmacy...I AM A DIRTY WHORE WHO PICKS MY NOSE AND SCRATCHES AT MY VENEREAL WARTS THAT ARE ON MY CHEST!!!

Yeah, that's what they thought.  When really, it's just a little bit of skin cancer.

week 4, + 6 days of antibiotic cream

So, really, it's just a little bit of skin cancer.  It's not a big deal.  I'll take care of it.  6 weeks, cream, little bit of skin cancer gone.

In reality, Aldara cream has side effects: 
  • redness, itching, burning, or bleeding of the treated area
  • flaking, scaling, dryness, or thickening of the skin
  • swelling, stinging, or pain in the treated area
  • blisters, scabs, or bumps on the skin
  • headache
  • diarrhea
  • back pain
  • tiredness  
  •  

 And if you pick your nose and then scratch the flaking, burning itchy treated area, you will make it infected.  I swear, it's really from sneezing.  Sneezing on my chest.  To be polite, to you. When I sneeze.

Additional side effects:
    Zero Exercise. That chest wound, getting all sweaty?  NO, thank you.
     Bad fashion.  Did you note those tank tops. Yeah, I've been rocking that.
     Really, bad fashion. Sometimes I just feel like socks, sandals, the tank top and cut off exercise shorts are really the way to go.  Which is really bad, because due to the lack of exercise, my exercise shorts are kinda tight.
           Oh, and the Pigs won't come anywhere near me.


Lessons learned:
    Wear sunscreen. 
     Put it on your kids. 
    Cover up.
     6 weeks of "cream" to easily get rid of a little bit of skin cancer. Sounds super awesome, really isn't.  
    Cut it out next time...CUT IT  OUT.
     
    So, um, yeah. A wee bit more bitchy than normal. A little more likely to be irritated. 
     I'll see you in 2 weeks...hopefully without the little bit of skin cancer. 
     
 Love, Snotty "Impetigo" 
 ...yeah, I pick my nose and scratch, but I swear, only when I sleep.

2 comments:

AllyB said...

Damn Snotty, why is the cure always worse than the illness? Hope it clears up soon and your back to your a-little-less-bitchy self. xxxooo

Hester from Atlanta said...

I don't know if this is available in your area - but gentian violet is one of the best things for impetigo. We used it when I was a kid. It turns your skin and everything is touches a lovely shade of violet - and it is a wonderful thing for trush mouth and/or vagie veggies.

It is still used a lot in Mexico. I used to live in San Diego and sometimes it would be in the drugstores. Don't know if it would work on the skin cancer, but it sure as heck works on skins infections. Comes in a solution in a glass bottle. The violet color is amazing.

Good Luck - Hester