Hand it OVER!

Getting Crafty with It...

I finished my 3rd Clapotis!!  I may have to have my right forefinger amputated due to over use, but hey, IT'S DONE!!  Plus, this one is....MINE!! 

If I wear it like this, I have a feeling...

 Ok, mine unless it looks really great on you.  In that case, you know I will just hand it over. Sometimes, knitted items are destined to go elsewhere. 

Like this hat...WonderWhyGal made it, but doesn't it look cute on me?  She handed it over.

Hands-Won't be Covered

I've been knitting just a garter stitch mindless bit of scarf.  If you come across me knitting this, please don't offer to "challenge me" by insisting that I do your wonderful pattern.  I know what I'm doing.  I'm keeping my hands busy so I don't punch you.

Speaking of hands, I'm supposed to be working on a beautiful pair of cabled mitts modeled after the infamous pair Bella wore in the movie Twilight.  I'm doing it as part of a knit-a-long. 

Photo totally swiped from the movie Twilight

It's not going so well.  I'm thinking bright yellow is not a good match for vampire and werewolf enticing mittens.

I swear, I have more done, but I think I'm done

I mean really, I'm supposed to be a famed zombie slayer.  The last thing I want should be to attract more trouble in the form of love lorn vampires and werewolves.  Especially since  my last run in with werewolves was not pretty.

Well, the camping was a complete FAIL.

I mean, I've had some incidents while camping before.  Wind knocked the tent down in the middle of the night at Elephant Butte.  (That's Butte, not Butt, people.)  It was creepy in "HEY!  I'm suffocating!" sort of way.

An Ode to Camping
Rain. Tents sliding down hills with me in them.
Lost glasses, later found smashed under the tent.
Pee.  Lot's of Pee.
Freezing winds, stinging rains.
Poison Ivy. Scrapes cuts bruises, fish hooks, knife cuts.

But really, what kicked my ass into admitting outdoor defeat?  Blinding heat and mosquitoes.  Curse you Fort Custer State Park!  I'll be surprised if me and the Pigs don't end up with Malaria.  Ok, West Nile. 

Pig 3 said "I bet you hate this place more than TV."  I agreed.

Next time...it's worth the drive to Ludington.  Ah, the fresh breeze off the Lake, the cool air, the trails, the cedar forests, the rip tide in the waves.  Plus, the Ogre has worn me down.  I'll be staying in a hotel.

Sorcerer's Apprentice-Of course I loved it

From previous Snotty Reviews, you know I movies. I love to laugh out loud, cry hysterically and watch shit get blown up.  I  especially love blow'em up Summer movies.  The Sorcerer's Apprentice was top knotch for all of that.  Ok, maybe the tears were due to laughing.

Ooh!  Ooooooh! Rowley from the Wimpy kid movie was in the beginning of SA also.  I am really rooting for that kid. I hope he's like the next Jonah Hill.  For a kid actor, he's good, likable, and totally not annoying.

Now I know some of you are NOT Nick Cage fans.  But me, I've loved him since he sang "he loves you, oooo-oooo-oooo in Peggy Sue got Married Sure he's quirky, I mean really, he named his kid after Superman. Not Christopher Reeve, I mean really, after Superman-Kal-el. some of you know Pig 2's real name, so, yeah, kindred spirits.

When asked if he's crazy, Nick and I made the same hand gesturing, meaning "a little."

Besides watching shit get blown up, I love looking for knitted items.  Of all people, it was Nicolas Cage rocking the best hand knits.

                                                                                                                                                                       So, he's this super old Sorcerer who trained under Merlin, has great taste in cars, rocks an Oglvie Home Perm, and wears leg warmers on his arms.






 







Yes.  Burgundy stockinette stitch leg warms.  It rounds out his outfit of "old man shoes" dress slacks, a vest and shirt.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel Ph: Abbot Genser © 2009 Disney Enterprises, Inc. and Jerry Bruckheimer, Inc

Next we have Jay Baruchel.  You know, if I had wanted to see a Christian Slater impression, I would have gone to my local Barnes & Noble.  Jay, stop with the lame!  You were so awesome in Tropic Thunder! (yes, that's the movie I go to)  Or maybe Christian Slater's voice and poor posture are what passes for low self esteem, and geeky.  

Alfred Molina!  Rock star mean with Rock star skinny assistant!  Very fun in this.  Fun in a mean way! Oh, you don't remember Alfred??  You've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, right?  He's the little guy who steals the head from Indy and doesn't throw him the whip!! 
Doc Ock in Spidey 2.  Nothing?  Wait, you're telling me you remember him from Frida?    Nancy boy.

There is a random girl, love interest.  Which yes, she is needed for the movie, but the love part slows down the blowing shit up!  

So, a normal person would give this movie 3 out of 5.  I give it 4 out of 5 for making me laugh hysterically most of the way through (except for the love part.)  If you could manage to check this out at a drive in-straight up 5 out of 5.  

Please remember drive ins make even the shittiest movies...AWESOME!  It makes pretty good ones-WICKED AWESOME!

You may also want to remember that I still laugh at fart jokes, so, maybe you don't want to trust my movie judgment.

Adventure is Fine...It's Domestic that's Killing Me

With all this attempted house selling, and trying to keep the house clean, by not being at home, the zombie population is WAAAY down.  Which, unless you are an evil scientist, this is good news.  Although if I were a mad scientist, I'm thinking that zombies would not be the way I'd go.  I mean, of course I want minions, but zombies smell bad.


So, while the fam was still here visiting, we went on ADVENTURE! 

Ok, yes, the petting zoo may not seem that adventurous to you, but we did go during a Thunderstorm Warning.

 Use the little one as a lightening rod!!

That means go hang out in your basement, not feed giraffes while standing on a platform in a big empty field.  Even the giraffes knew better than to hang out over by the stupid humans.  The were ducking under a taller than them tree.

Next, to the beach!  Sure, sure, it's Lake Michigan, it's not dangerous.  There are no sharks, or riptides.  Uh, take that riptide thing back.  The Mighty Lake Michigan kills several people a year due to riptides.  While we were out there playing in the waves, unbeknownst to us was a Riptide warning.  Danger-Danger! 

No photos at the beach...you're welcome.

I am sorry to report that 2 gentleman lost their lives to the waves that day. Seriously, please be careful in Lake Michigan.

We made it out alive and then PK took our freshly burned and sand covered bodies out for Birthday Lunch.

We may have taught her that

 Ahhh!  This is why I love my family.  Any day is a birthday, for everyone!

After taking 4 children to the bar, it's always good to reward them with a bit of running amok and general mayhem.

We had a great time Carter, Beth and Addy!  Can't wait to see you and the new addition next year! 






After all that camping, swimming and adventure, with no horrible injuries or poison ivy, I managed to hurt myself at home...

That's my ankle.  I don't normally rock cankles.  See...

Not unlike "I carried a watermelon," I dropped a glass blender jar, on my ankle.  This is because I am built for danger!  Not domestic smoothie making.

This did lead to a nice bit of catching up with my current knitting projects.

Now, if I could just finish some of this.  I'd be like the super hero of the summer!

Tired of fun? Maybe.

Last week my ass got kicked by camp.  Yes, we've been over that.  Then we had an open house on Sunday.  No, no bids.  The people who like our house, have to sell their house.  It's like a pyramid scheme!  We have to somehow trick someone new into buying a house so 2 other people can buy houses.

So, renters...there's a real nice house, cheap, in downtown Kalamazoo you should look into.  Really, you will never be able to buy a house this cheap again.  Renters, you could also look into buying my real nice house, for waaaay cheaper than we bought it, washer and dryer and all appliances included!  Ok, minus the microwave.  It's not even built in and really, you can get your own microwave for $30.

Maybe you're wondering why I've been quiet. I'm exhausted! Why?  Well, I mentioned the bisque.  Camp, Open House, and then THESE GUYS showed up

My brother Carter, Beth, and baby Addy!! Visiting from North Carolina

and it's been non stop fun the whole time!

First we had a picnic.  No, I have no photos because I was nursing a camping hangover and had shunned electric items. No electricity for me maw.

Then another picnic.

Them's cousins.  Ladderball was a big hit

Should we tap that?

Scared of a mini keg?  A little.

Even the dog was tired after this one.

The next day?  Kalamazoo Valley Museum to check the Storm Trooper Mask.  A certain Pig was worried that the guy's head would still be in it. 

It was decidedly free of noggins.  We also learned that many of the costumes that look so sweet are actually as poorly put together as something I would make.  Really, it's all spray paint, stuff found around the house, and shoddy sewing!  I'm in!!  Let's make a movie!

We also decided that Beth, at 5'2, is the perfect size to be an actress.  She fit the suit!!  Then Pig 3 and I decided to try our hand at making our own Super Heroes!!

Here we have Nature Boy.  Beware his grassy legs of justice, foul litter bugs!! Of course I sketched out the ultimate Zombie Prom date Knitter.  It went on the wall for all to enjoy...

Where would you head after a long day of culture?

Yes, it's always best to bring your baby to the bar. You get better service.

Cub Camp-ADVENTURE! Always with the ADVENTURE

I said Cub Scout Camp kicked my butt.  It did.  But it was a riot!

 

This is Pig 2 on day 3.  Only a riotous good time leads to feet this dirty.  Well, unless you're getting a pedicure.

Pig 2 and I were serious archery fans.  Sadly, my boy archer (stress the boy part) was not at camp this year.  Oh, beardy youth, I hope you find your Mrs. Robinson.

Although Pig 2 had all fun, I had to put some of my skills (z) to use.

First, I used my back of the head eyeballs.  With them I saw some unauthorized whittling.  Yes, a knife and a firebowl skit-a-thon do not mix.  Of course, when they do mix, an injury will occur.

Then I got to use my EMT skills, again, and again...

Anyone remember my brand new buff?  I got it to help during the awkward stages of growing out my hair.  Yes, we all know it CAN be used as a tube top, but it really works best as a head covering.  Sadly, while the blood was flowing out of a Cub Scout I reminded myself of this "Now available with this style of UV Buff®, Polygiene®, an anti bacterial, anti odor technology."

Polygiene, eh?  That sounds like "cleans up easy, even bloody messes, real good."  I think that mental tagline was actually written by Zoolander, but hey, he's real pretty. (The Ogre notes that the Zoolander Special Collector's edition should be called the Special Collector's Blue Steel Edition.)

So, stopped the blood flow and passed scout off the the Medic "Puddin'."  The Scout required no stitches, but holy hell, did he end up with a mess o' butterfly bandages.

Fish hook in finger?  Sure, I got a band aid for that.

Fall, or get hand caught in a door?  Really, I am first aid ready.

The only thing I don't carry in my back pack is ice.  But if you need a plastic bag to place ice in, I've got you covered.

See that back pack...it could save your life-Also representin' ZPDK and Wonder Why Alpaca Farm!

 

Besides using the skills I brought to camp, I also learned a few new things.

More plastic bags, bandaids, and Bandannas instead of fancy buffs would be awesome for next year.  I also made a note that I need rope, I can't recall what for, and I made this note "can someone get me a fricking roll up mattress for my birthday?  My back is killing me." I wrote that in the middle of the night.

Another lesson learned.  Bringing knitting is smarter than bringing a book.

  "whatcha readin?" 

I could have said the Anarchist's Cookbook.  I decided that no one really cared, they just thought it was anti social to be reading.

Cub Crafts.  It's  CUB CRAFTS, not my Dad gets to criticize my hammering skills.  Who cares if it's not perfect.  It's not yours, it's your CUB's.  Let him learn. 

Dudes take more photos than I do.  Really.  I wonder if they scrapbook too?  We could totally have a beerfest scrapbook event.

Some of that sounds snarky.  But really, I look forward to camping with my Scouts.  They learn about themselves, make great friends, develop self esteem, and become better people for it.  They don't know that when they're at camp, but later, later, it's just all Stand by Me, without the dead body, and I'm glad I get to be a part of it.

Spinsanity "true friends are those still willing to sit next to each other after picking enough trash to make us cry"

Love you ZPDK!  Camp is the only other place that feels like friends.