Why do I knit?

Knitting. Yep, I do it. Poorly.

I was going to link to examples of this on my blog, but there are too many disasters. Tiny shawls, mismatched mittens, sleeves-well of inappropriate size, "artistic" Kidney Kozies, to name a few.

I have issues:

1. gauge-I tend to ignore it, assume, just go for it. It may be a personality flaw.

2. lack of attention-huh?
3. size 7 needles that are mismatched (but I love them for their quirkiness)

4. a problem with authority that sadly even makes me fight against a written pattern

5. ideas outside of my skill set-The phrase "it'll fit somebody" comes to mind.

For some damn reason I don't stop though. I don't put up with this kind of crap in other parts of my life, so why, oh why do I keep tormenting myself with knitting?

Friends.

I've met the greatest people,

had the most fun, cried, laughed and dreamed with friends. I wouldn't have met a damn one of them without knitting.

Here's what I said after spending a week in the sun, picking up trash next to the highway with my knitting friends...

(Yes, I swiped a quote from the movie Stand by Me)

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"

I know I do.

Find a Knitting Group, Find your Best Friends. It may not help your knitting any, but you won't regret it.

This was part of Fiber Arts Friday.

Connect with other Fiber Artists! Check out Wonder Why Alpaca Farm to take part!

Crap. No, really.

Sure, sure, it will fit someone. It will be fine. Just keep knitting! You can finish this!
These were all things I said to myself about the Panda Silk DK Fan shawl.

Well, let's just say I did finish it, and the it in question is a doo rag, and was supposed to be a doo rag. A very fancy, time consuming doo rag.

Now I'm working on the Emily Shawl from Knitscene blah, blah, just bought yesterday. I hope it too doesn't turn out tiny. For the record, I have heard of a gauge swatch. Heard of.

Panda Silk "dk" Fan Shawl

Why no photos of the Panada Silk dk fan Shawl being made with crazy zauberball sock yarn?

I'm going to say it's because of technical difficulties. With that bit of a thaw out last week it was zombie central around here. Due to all the slaying activity I had to keep washing my winter jacket. I know, I could just put the jacket back on dirty, but zombie parts are sticky, and I can't wear a sticky jacket. Due to all the washing I managed to also wash my phone. That has nothing to do with a lack of photos, just a side note.

The other reason for the lack of photos is all in the name of the pattern. DK. I am using sock yarn. Sock yarn is skinnier than dk. My shawl is turning out a bit on the tiny side. It's still beautiful, and I'm too far gone to turn back now, but alas...tiny.

Apparently besides giving single mittens and socks to people missing parts, I need to find a tiny person. I could get my own tv show! Shitty Knitting, Looks like Charity! Small Knits, Big Knitter.

Again, technical difficulties or it's hard to keep the world safe from zombies and be a half way decent knitter.

Sportastic weekend

It was a long weekend of zombie slaying! We went to 2 sporting events this weekend, and boy let me tell you-the zombies have thawed!

On Friday night we went to the K-Wings game in support of the 6th Grade Camp fundraiser. What a great way to bring our community together for a great cause and a good time.

Plus, the chuck-a-puck thing...what a riot. I mean really hundreds of orange pucks being chucked onto the ice. Which is a lot better than octopus being thrown on the ice. I do have to say that a few zombie bits were also thrown out on the ice. I didn't know where to ditch them. Still better than octopus, less slimey

Now don't think just because we had a successful fundraiser at K-wings that the need for funds for 6th grade camp is over. If you haven't heard, 6th grade camp was almost cancelled this year. We want to make sure that every child has the opportunity to discover a love of nature, and have a good time outdoors! (Plus I am almost positive that is where I first learned about the nature of zombies, and the proper use of a shovel.)

Saturday we went to a WMU Basketball game with the Cub Scouts. Luckily for the crowd we were there to stop the zombie activity. Turns out, zombies love sports. That is one thing that makes it, a desire for brains, and a hunger for competition.

To make up for all this outside activity, I spent last night spinning some alpaca into gold. Ok, some brown alpaca with yellow and orange wool. All done while...watching football.

It's New!

I seem to have acquired a new nick name. Which is probably good, because I don't think that zombies, even in their lessened mental state, are afraid of someone called "Snotty."

But if you were to hear someone yell out "Death Star Blossom, cover me!" I'm pretty sure you'd be shaking in your tattered flannel.

So watch it zombies of the world. I'm here, and I'm gunning for you.

This is also to let you know that the NEW and improved Ravelympics Team Zombie Slayers shirts are now available at zazzle.com Please order one, or 10 before we get shut down again.

Very Tech Savvy

Computer savvy I am not.

Instead of hooking the new computer into our wireless network-I killed our entire internet set up.

This is very similar to the Pigs giving each other "self inflicted" haircuts. I tell them "only trained professionals are allowed to cut your hair. Are you a trained professional?"

Now my own words are biting me in the ass. I am not allowed to touch computer-y stuff again, because I am not a trained professional.

Where can I become a hair cutting, computer genius, knitting wiz, assassin. I think that's what was going on with the whole Bauhaus thing.

Me? In Trouble? Again.

Sadly, the super awesome shirts for Team Zombie Slayers have some issues that make them unable for zazzle to print them. Something about copyright, corporate, stuff and stuff.

I'm sure it has more to do with the use of the word "Olympic" rather than the green O being in the shape of a severed head.

So my lovely design team, Crystal, is currently working on a new updated, copyright infringement free version of the shirt.

Here is how I really feel about this whole thing-edited for sensitive types:

Frankenmuth the man. I was going to give the damn proceeds to sassy charity. Now I’m Going to knit olympic rings into a bikini and bring this to Larry Flynt!

To the orders that got through

Viva le revolucion!

To make Olympic Rings on my bikini I will be going to the lovely

microREVOLT

MISSION
microRevolt projects investigate the dawn of sweatshops in early industrial capitalism to inform the current crisis of global expansion and the feminization of labor.

microRevolt since 2003.

There they have knitpro-in their own words-

KNITPRO
knitPro is a free web application that translates digital images into knit, crochet, needlepoint and cross-stitch patterns. Simply upload jpeg, gif or png images and knitPro will generate a graph sizable for any fiber project. knitPro digitally mimics the tradition of pre-industrial craft circles who freely shared patterns and passed them down from generation to generation.

I think I'm going to also need to go to Weight Watchers if I'm planning on wearing my Olympic bikini in protest.

Team Zombie Slayers...We got shirts

You've heard about Team Zombie Slayers for the Ravelymics. Which gets under way Feb 12-28, 2010. So you have plenty of time to join us, and join in the fun.

Now speaking of fun, thanks to our highly talented, computer knowledgey and computer worky friend Crystal (sometimes called Chrysler, or Fiberattic) we even have T shirts for this event.

Yes, we are that kind of enthusiastic.

Where does one get this awesome t shirt? Why zazzle of course!

Suri Contest...I wanna WIN

The Wonder Why Gal is having a contest!

I want to win! Did you know I'm secretly competitive? Yeah, I may not tell you we're competing, but really, I'm working against you.

Sarah, best friend since 1st grade, she didn't even know. She thought we were just walking the trails all summer for exercise-no! I wanted to beat my time in a 5k walk-and those damn Portage Moms! Go my School District!! Represent!

You know that whole practicing spinning in secret, I couldn't stand being so crappy. I had to be better, better than you.

Oh, there's more. It's sick and wrong, but there's more. The Print O' the Wave Shawl, that turned out to be the Morning Glory Shawl...you all thought I frogged it-KNIT IN SECRET!! I may even be knitting an actual Print O' the Wave...in secret.

No, this isn't a new problem, I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Faith No More's A Small Victory was my theme song.
"I might beat you, but I'll just keep my mouth shut"

So, a contest. You know I want to win. Sadly, I have to tell you about this one for more chances to win!



It's to win Suri Alpaca! Ok, don't worry, not a whole Suri Alpaca. As cool as that would be, I really don't have the space for one, but you do win either Yarn or Roving. AWESOME!! It is too, it's super dreamy, and, and...

Here are the Rules...(I hate letting you get chances to win)-The FOLLOWING IS ALL FROM THE WONDER WHY ALPACA FARM SITE. GO THERE TO ENTER TO WIN.

The rules are simple.

1. Visit my Etsy Store, WONDERWHYGAL, and look at my roving and yarn. Leave a comment here letting me know what you think, what's your favorite color, what color blends you would like to see in the future.


2. Leave a comment about Suri. Something interesting. If you need help, here are just a few of my older posts where I blogged about my Suri.

A Suri Sonnett


I've Got Sunshine on a Cloudy Day


All That Fluff

Rapunzel, Rapunzel

Daily Dose of Fiber


Sugar Breeze is a Breeze

Beginning to Look Like Autumn




3. Spread the Word about the WONDER of Suri and the Wonder Why Alpaca Farm! Twitter about this contest, post on your Facebook or blog about the WONDER of Suri and this contest and let me know. You are only allowed one tweet, post and blog per day but if you want to keep spreading the WONDER, go ahead.



Now, I'm off to win some Suri!!!

Time to get OUT!

Zombie sightings are way down this year. Well, except for the one in my back field. There always seems to be one zombie with a such an overwhelming hunger for brains that it ventures out into the cold and gets frozen mid "arrrggg."

Due to lack of zombie slaying, many of my beloved Zombie Slayers are feeling, well, a bit down. I've suggested sky diving multiple times, still no takers. I'm beginning to think this may be a side effect of the CLAP! Oh, no!! What have I done?

Anyway, it's time to get out of the house...

Zombie Prom Date Knitters-Beat the Winter Doldrums

Bennucci's
6pm
3717 East Cork Street
Kalamazoo, MI 49001

Let's try to not get kicked out Ladies. I'm running out of places to eat in this town.

Team Zombie Slayers? YES!!!!!

Hester in Atlanta asks

"Are you all going to have a Zombie Prom Night Knitters team for the Ravelry Winter Olympics? I was wondering. I am planning on joining the Ravelry Winter Olympics, (I have a project in mind for a friend) but since I love your posts I was wondering if you all had an official team."


I'm totally not making that up. It was the comment I deleted from a recent post. Because if I had made it up I would have added stuff like "You are my knitting inspiration" "I'm sure you really don't knit that shitty. A person can't possibly knit that bad, right?" "Your haircut is fashionable, you really do look like Halle Berry." "You look tall for 5'4."

Anyway, for anyone else wondering, the Zombie Prom Date Knitters DO have an Official Ravelry Winter Olympics Team. I give you...

TEAM ZOMBIE SLAYERS

ahem
RULE NUMBER ONE: CARDIO!

Rule Number One: Challenge yourself.
If you select a project, or projects, that will be a challenge to you, you are participating in the spirit of the Olympics.

The Dates
Feb 12-28, 2010

Magic Tagging
Tags are crucial. Casey will soon turn on a tagging tool that pops up, letting you choose your tags from a list. Each project should have three tags:

1. ravelympics2010: This is the one that gets you into the Stadium as an official participant.
2. ZPDK2010, which identifies you as part of Team Zombie Slayers, and
3. Your project’s event tag. Your project CAN be entered in more than one event. For example, Endpaper Mitts can compete in the gloves/mittens/fingerless mitts event and in the colorwork event.

A big THANK YOU to Karel-KWAK on Ravelry for setting this up and being Team Captain for us.

If you are interested in joining us, join Ravelry! Then join the Zombie Prom Date Knitters forum and make sure to magic tag your Olympic Projects. We've had prizes in the past, but you know we are rarely very organized with this sort of thing, so don't hold your breath.

Never a normal day

Today I found myself sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers, not thinking "how do I get myself into this crap?" But "How do I always end up doing weird shit?"

I took a test to be a 2010 Government Census Taker this afternoon. It was really very much like the test scene from Men in Black. When asked why we were there I was tempted to yell out "Second Lieutenant, Jake Jenson. West Point. Graduate with honors. We're here because you are looking for the best of the best of the best, sir!"

So, I took the test, it was fun, and afterward I pushed a lady's car out of a slick spot. Yes, yes, always there to help. I really need to start wearing a black suit, I make this look.

What I make look good is the helping people.

My Review of Autumn Leaves II High

Originally submitted at Onlineshoes.com

Dont let rain or cold stop you with the Bogs Autumn Leaves II High classic rain boot. This warm, waterproof pull-on boot features a rubber and four-way stretch Neoprene upper designed to protect against cold and wetness even in sub-zero temperatures. Handles aid in the on/off process, and Aegis ant...

Autumn Leaves II High

Great for Dress or Farm

By Knit with Snot from Kalamazoo, MI on 1/8/2010

 

5out of 5

Sizing: Feels true to size

Width: Feels true to width

Pros: Warm, Durable, Comfortable, Stylish, Stable

Best Uses: Casual Wear, Cold Weather, Wet Weather, Work

Describe Yourself: Trendy, Fun, Comfort-oriented, Functional, Stylish

I needed a pair of boots for the unpredictable mess that is a Michigan Winter, but I still wanted cute waterproof boots. These fit the bill perfectly.

I can slosh through parking lots, and meet up with friends, or shovel the drive all in the same sassy boots and still have warm dry toes!

I also help out at an Alpaca Farm and I wear these boot there too. I have the fanciest muck boots at the Wonder Why Alpaca Farm and the warmest feet!

These are rubber boots so they do feel a bit loose, but it makes it like wearing slippers.

*pull up handles for easy on
*upper portion stretches for larger legs or over thicker pants
*upper portion also insulated
*good tread
*great design-matches everything
*breathable foot-can wear all day,even indoors
*NOT A BORING BOOT

(legalese)

Watermelon in Winter

You know you've seen the movie Dirty Dancing, and we all know the quote "No one puts Baby in a corner."

Well, the most used line from that movie at our house is "I carried a watermelon."

Yeah, you know the scene. Baby goes to party with Doofy kid and carries a watermelon up in my mind an incredibly large flight of stairs. When asked why she's there she says "I carried a watermelon."

So the day to day practical applications may seem ridiculously slim, but soon, you too may be carrying a watermelon all over the place.

Let us recall that two very short days ago I started a very simple Ball Band Dishcloth from those Perky Mason Dixon knitters. It turned into a work of art. If asked by the Ogre while ripping out said art installation rather than calling up the Art Institute in Chicago and say "my art is ready" I simply say "I carried a watermelon."

That way he knows I did something stupid, without all the boring knitting details.

Sadly, I have to admit, last night, while watching teley and knitting the same damn dishcloth, I carried a watermelon.

Knit with Snot....it's an Art

Last night I made it to Fabrications for their Sit and Knit.

I of course don't actually sit and knit. I sit and talk. Sometimes I walk and talk. I believe I knit all of 16 rows. I also believe I distracted other people from knitting. But it was fun. If it wasn't fun for you, I apologize. No, I don't apologize.



I started a new project. Yeah, it was gorgeous. When I got home, I ripped it out. It was actually turning into more of an art piece than what it was supposed to be. Sadly, there are no photos, but the Museum of Modern Art would have been all over this one. Since it has been reworked, it will merely wash dishes. Yes, I fouled up a stinking Ball Band Dishcloth that bad.

Yes, I knit with snot, gusto, joy, love, but not with much attention.

I'm the phone number on the bathroom stall of knitting!

Oh, SNAP-I wish that Clap was done.

I should be finishing the Clap. I've taken that last dose of antibiotics and expect it to be gone with in hours. Ok, it would be done if I hadn't skipped that one dose and went roller skating.


Pig 3 wearing Plaid Pants.
New Pair for Christmas. This pair has pockets!!

But really, Flat Gryffon is such a great date. A lovely skater too!


Really now, what will I ever do with myself after I finish this, uh, Holiday Gift? I call it a Holiday Gift. That way it can be give as a Gift at the nearest Holiday. I missed Boxing Day. I'm thinking Martin Luther King Day?

Anyway, I got this SWEET yarn at Your Local Yarn Shop. No, not your local yarn shop, My local yarn shop, which is sort of your local yarn shop if you live in Battle Creek. Anyway.

I'm going to make some Kidney Kozies and baby Sweaters. I'm not quite sure which out of what,


Crazy Zauberball 1660 Other Crazy Zauberball......Trekking....

but, yeah, it's almost a plan. Sure, it's all sock yarn. But, hey, I've never said any of my plans were sensible.

Fiber, no, not that kind!

Where does fiber come from? No, not from your stupid Kashi go Poo cereal box. I mean for your warm, warm mittens or that goofy hat your cousin wears when he goes snow boarding.

From this barn at the Wonder Why Alpaca Farm!

Ok, ok, I don't get paid for this, but I may be trying to wear the Ogre down so I can get an Alpaca of my own. I'd settle for a bigger house.

But if I had an alpaca barn, maybe I'd like cats!

This cat is nice, because it's not Pippin

So what do you do with the Fiber? You go to the Grange Craft Day and Craft it!

Elizabeth is all super spin-a-licious and sassy with her drop spindle.

Karel finally rid herself of her case of the clap.
Sadly, Andrea is still infected.
Oh, come on. It's funny. Fine. Clapotis. Clapotis.
It's a knitting pattern. You are boring.


Oh, Julie! This was such a good idea! We are AWESOME!

Sarah! You are awesome too! Now, about that scarf. Stop looking so good in it. Who made that? Are they available for hire? Hey, why are you taping the front said of that photo? Are you fake scrapbooking?

Spinsanity, Em, and Abi were also there representing the AWESOME of the recently dubbed "Vaguely Asian" part of the ZPDKs. Sadkly, Spinny doesn't like to be photographed by evil or non evil cameras, I try to comply.



Kentucky Irish said the sweetest thing when she was leaving the Home Grange Craft Day-

"Did y'all know it's cold here? Plus there's loads of zombies?"

Good thing she made friends with a bunch of zombie slaying knitters, huh? We can help her on both fronts.

Fiber, it brings people together. Unless of course you are eating that Kashi go Poo cereal.

Something Snotty This Way Comes

Hold onto your knitting ladies, and place your bets...

I stopped chewing on the neck of the cow and jumped back on the wagon. Did I mention I cut the soda too? YESTERDAY.

It was a hard day full of tears, cleaning, and thrown objects. To help from eating every meat laden object in the house, including the dogs, ah Copper, my little pork chop,


the ipod was spinning some angry tunes. At one point Pig 3 was requested to leave the room. Ogre interference. Sadly, it was the Pig's favorite. But he did need to check himself.

So, if in the future, you see me knitting like a fiend in the corner, don't offer me food, or beverage, and watch your fingers.

A Zombie Slaying New Year!!

I was very convinced that it was pouring rain, or Paul Bunyan was frying bacon in a huge frying pan in my back yard.

Which would lead one to wonder, where the hell is Paul finding those giant pigs? Plus wouldn't giant pig wrangling replace the auto industry, save the State of Michigan and end world hunger?

Then I got to worrying, if it is raining, that means the zombies are thawing out. I mean sure, it's been nice to have a break form the constant stress of zombie slaying. But the bad economy must be effecting the Mad Scientists too, because there has just been a down swing in evil lately. I mean really. I'm getting bored around here.

All these thoughts, plans and adventures! So early in the morning! I was going to grab some giant pig bacon from Paul, grab Babe the Big Blue Ox and try out the new cricket bat the Ogre got me for the Holidays. It was going to be a great start to the New Year! Yeah!!

Turns out, the humidifier was just running low on water...no thaw, no bacon, no zombies. At least until the real thaw.