Start Your New Year Right! Craft!

Sometimes it's just said best by someone else, and this time it really was. I'm about in Home Grange, knitting and I love my friends tears! If only Lu Ann from the Koffee Klutch was somehow going too...so to see how the Wonder Why Gal made me feel emotions check her blog on this subject.

For bare bone news of what the hell I'm blubbering about, here you go...

Join us at Home Grange #129

Craft Fun Day
January 2
Noon-4

This is a free event open to the public!

Bring any craft you want!

People will be scrapbooking, knitting, crocheting, spinning,quilting, cross stitching, spinning-on drop spindles and on spinning wheels!

Want to learn a new craft? Now is your chance! Plenty of fun going on and everyone loves to share their ideas!

Snacks will be at the Grange Hall


Bring your craft of choice and a friend!

Craft Demos will be Provided by:

Sarah Boven-Creative Memories Consultant-New tools, and tips

Spinsanity Drop Spindles will be doing drop spinning demonstrations-she was at the 4th of July Parade!

Andrea-The Wonder Why Gal from the
Wonder of the Wonder Why Alpaca Farm


Holly B will be supplying mini knit kits and vague instructions because she believes knitting is in all of us.

These events are also planned for March and May.
More can be scheduled if interest is high!
Working on possible demos from:
The Flying Stitch

(I lifted the above information from Home Grange 129 blog, but since I am co author of that and am giving credit, I think it's ok. If you'd like your Grange event news first hand...become a follower!)

This event is open to everyone, you do not have to be a Grange member. Which leads me to tell you where the Grange is...

11003 91/2 Mile road
Ceresco, MI 49033
THIS IS NOT A MAILING ADDRESS!!!
This is for directions only!!!

Corner of B drive South and 9 1/2 mile road

What else will be going on...Fun, new friends, old friends, food, yeah, Zombie Prom Date Knitters. A good time will be had by all.

OH! The Pigs will sure as heck NOT be there. This started as a "hey, don't you think we will all be sick of our families by Jan 2?" It was agreed that we would. I may be at the Grange by 10, the night before.

The Clap. It's Catchy

Ok, so I'm working away on ridding myself of the Clap.

My Clap. Alpaca. It's blue and purple in person.
The Clap, not the Alpaca.


No, that joke never gets old. Especially
when I've tricked, Tom Sawyered, etc, etc, so many of my friends into getting the Clap with me.

It's actually all Spinsanity's fault. Her Clap was so pretty, I wanted a case of my very own, and then it kind of went epidemic from there.



WonderWhyGal's Version. Look! Dropped Stitches on purpose! Part of the Clap's charm!

This area is reserved for other ZOMBIE PROM DATE KNITTERS' CLAP

Oh, is that Flat Stanley again?

We really do take him everywhere! Ok, here's the deal. When I was in elementary school, at the end of every year we attached our name and school's address to a balloon and set the balloons free.

Very pretty, not very environmental. It was all in the hopes that our balloons would fly far away and get found and then returned to the school and we'd hear some great story about where they landed.

MINE HASN'T RETURNED. Yet. I'm still freaking waiting.

So, I like this whole Flat Stanley thing much better, and I'm trying to help Pig 1 and Gryffon have fun with it and not be disappointed or wait 27 years for a balloon, er Flat Stanley.

I really wanted you to see the cute scarfy thing that Kristen was working on, and then finished. Here's the link to the free pattern. Fourteen Beware, modeled on a cute shirtless guy.




Say I'm boring. These Pigs are surrounded by fun. They'd probably spontaneously combust if they actually were in a boring situation.



There, done.

Clap that Imagination

The Clap-otis is still being knitted. Will I never rid myself of the Clap?

Flat Stanley Gryffon is still being dragged all over, and the Pigs think I'm the meanest most boring Mom ever. Ok, dorks, I'm trading you in for a Flat version, because Flat Gryffon thinks I am the round best.

It's totally not my fault that the Pet Semetary has a huge fence around it and there's a lull in the zombie slaying because of the latest batch of cold weather. Yeah, go use your imaginations.

Holidays with Flat Stan-Gryffon!

Flat Stanley is in the house! Yo!
Oh, for the love of all things AWESOME, you don't know about Flat Stanley?

Book encourages kids to read, write, cultural exchange. I may be putting more into it than what really happens, but I really get excited about stuff.
Go to wiki, for the full write up.

Pig 1's Flat Stanley is really a Flat Gryffon, his cousin. Boy, has Gryff been on some adventures, so many that we had to put him in a plastic bag. Ok, we are calling that his "snow suit."

Flat Gryffon was supposed to go to Pig1's Grandma's house while I went to the Koffee Klutch, but he accidently hitched a ride in my purse. It was very Mike Teavee.

I introduced him to the Zombie Prom Date Knitters...

Kentucky Irish said she already had a bonus boyfriend, but bought him a hot cocoa. Shannon showed him how to knit...

Then it got rowdy, so I had to put him back in my purse.


With that, Happy Holidays all, whatever you celebrate and if you have already celebrated, and if you don't celebrate, I am thinking of you and I will miss you until I see you again!

Lot's of love!!!

Snotty, No, it's the Holidays!

Yes, I'm still using Disney Photos. But this has knitting.

While at Epcot, I found this lovely Dale of Norway sweater at the Norwegian Pavilion.

It was priced at the not so lovely price of $465.

Which lead me to an idea.

Sometimes my ideas are not so original. Hey, let's stop here and eat some frozen Disney treats...

Then come over here and eat, them. No one is over here, and there's a garbage can!

Yes, I did take a photo of the inside of a garbage can

So maybe my next idea will be more original. I knit, I have nice yarn, I'll start charging people $465 per item!

Merry Christmas Sarah! I hope you enjoy the scarf!
For those that know me, you know I don't say that lightly!

Yeah, right! You know I can't do that! Well, I don't knit well enough for one thing, but for another, it's just not in me.

I may be snarky, blunt, honest, mean, and make you cry, but if you need or want something, I'm probably going to give it to you.

My scarf, my other scarf, the shirt off my back, my coat-as long as I get my red mittens out of the pockets, it's yours if you need it. Hey! My blood, sure, every six weeks or so, bone marrow-MATCH I'm looking for you! It's like creepy Go Fish!

Happy Holidays-Do something nice this year. Even if it's just a knit scarf.

Gift of Life Michigan
Be the Match
American Red Cross

Where are those Who's?

Originally Posted by me December 21, 2007-but I'm reposting it because it's so timely and delicious.

Oh Kristin, 313 Kristin, the one who Knits, look what I did....

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Let the Ogre wrap. Whatever he does is fine by me. I wrapped and used the sharp edge of the island to cut the paper. My other wrapping was a paper sack. It was for booze so I figured it was ok.

2. Real tree or artificial? We have a fake tree. No more trees will die on our account. We usually get a wreath from a local farmer but only if the wreath is made from fallen branches.

3. When do you put up the tree? I like to put it up on December 7th. Yes, Pearl Harbor Day. It's also Carter's birthday and as a kid it used to piss him off to share his birthday with tree day. Heeheehee.

4. When do you take the tree down? December 26th. I'd pack it up the evening of the 25th if I could get away with it.

5. Do you like eggnog? Eggnog scares the life out of me. I mean really, raw eggs. You can tell me it's pasteurized all you want, give me the rum, skip the nog.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Country store. I don't actually remember ever playing with that except for on X Mas eve like 1978, so it may not have even been mine. I loved it though.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Many. We like to play with them.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Eh, if you don't like it, you can take it back, you unappreciative turd.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Pigs are super fun to buy for. The Ogre, he loves musicals.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Worst, huh? It's all good.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail! It shows you care enough to spend 41 cents.

12 . Favorite Christmas movie? White Christmas. Ok, the musicals are catchy.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Oh, this is about Christmas? I thought we were talking about Yule.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes, and with pride. Some things were just meant to be with another person and the original gifter didn't know it.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? It sure ain't Suet Pudding. I am really not a fan of the actual Holiday Meal on the 25th. I do like the general feasting that leads up to it. You know, the fudge, the chex mix, the office snacks. The general large amounts of snacks that everyone is pushing on each other. I like that.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Do we not know each other? Color, color, color. The more hodge podge the better.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Holly Jolly Christmas-Burl Ives.

18. Travel for Christmas or stay home? Home, family, Walt Disney World, Europe. Does it really matter? Not to me.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher & Dancer & Prancer & Vixen, Comet & Cupid & Donna Dixen...

20. Angel on the treetop or star? A star to represent the Winter Solstice.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? If gifts arrive at our house that were not brought by Santa, they are free game to be opened. What if it's a puppy? It would die if we didn't let it out. Actual gifts to people living in the house get opened on the 25th.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People thinking that the whole world is Christian. Hello, Buddhists! Hiya Jews, Hanukkah was hella early this year.

Also, I get worried about the Holiday lights and the whole energy crisis thing. Are the neighbors using CFLs?

23. What I love most about Christmas? The Pigs getting all excited-about the Winter Solstice.

24. What's your favorite Christmas Memory? Santa at Candy Grandma's house.

25. Believe or Not? What belief of mine are you questioning?

Ah! The Solstice!

Happy Saturnalia everyone!

Really, it's my favorite Holiday. Don't have Saturnalia on your calendar. Well here's a quick reminder from wiki:

Saturnalia became one of the most popular Roman festivals. It was marked by tomfoolery and reversal of social roles, in which slaves and masters ostensibly switched places, with expectedly humorous results

I took 2 years of Latin, and yes this is what happened to me. No one to talk to but the Pope, and a love of Roman Gods and celebrating the Solstice. But you know I've always loved the tomfoolery.

Disney Tips, or Snotty Tips...

Ah, so you're going to Disney.

I sure as hell hope you know what you're in for. No really. That place is full of characters.


Not just the nice ones! My favs are there too!

Plus people. If you're not careful you'll run into people like the Ogre with his laminated touring plans.



Worse yet, there's the people who stand in the way with absolutely no plan.

Here is the Snotty plan of attack, also know as the Middle Way.

Snotty-Your Quirky Guide to the Kingdom

Ok, I borrowed that from Buddha. I don't think he'd mind.
1. Know where the bathrooms are.


I really liked the bathrooms in the restaurants. Especially at off times. Oooh, Columbia Harbor House in Fantasy Land-Best Counter Service food in Magic Kingdom, HUGE Dining Area upstairs-PLUS cleanest least used bathrooms upstairs. Trust me, these are things I keep track of.

Also good, pee stops-MK Space Mountain toilets. These are not often used by little kids. Think about that.

Epcot-No bathrooms in France. Make sure you pee before you get there! Morocco-not real clean, but never very busy. UK bathrooms, always busy, but kept up nicely. Norway-secret bathrooms around corner from bakery...nice!

I hit the Electric Umbrella restaurant rest room on many occasions. Clean, and again, on off eating times...not busy.
2. Remember to EAT.


Suck it up. You are at Disney. You've already decided to spend a million dollars. Hopefully you got a deal either on your hotel or resort or flight, or scored and got the FREE DINING PLAN. But either way, don't be a cheap ass and skimp on eating.

WHY? I don't want to listen to your crabby ass family midday because they are starving.

Sit down, take a break and eat. You'll feel better, rest and be ready to go enjoy yourself again. Trust me on this.

3. Your kid is 5 or under? Suck it up and rent the stroller.

Your back will thank you. Plus you can put your emergency poncho, "I peed my pants" (that was me) dirty undies, jackets, etc, etc, etc, on the stroller.

"But my kid is strong, not a whiner, better than those lazy Pigs, and doesn't need a stroller, and the strollers are expensive!"

Uh, yeah. I say after about an hour, your ass is going to remember this and say, "Wow, Holly was right, my kid is heavy, and this bag is heavy. Where do I rent that stroller?"

4. Stroller Rental info-
a. Rent for the whole time you are going to be there. You get a discount.
b. Strollers are at the entrance of each park.
c. If you go to multiple parks, you only pay once.
d. TIE A BANDANNA on your stroller-no one does this. In a sea of buggies, you will be able to spot yours.
e. There is stroller parking spots all over the parks. If your stroller isn't where you left it a Disney cast member moved. It's near by. Look for your bandanna.

5. Disney isn't just for Kids

Childcare Options are available onsite, along with inroom babysitting.
Neverland Club is at the Polynesian Resort. The Grand Floridian also offers a Club. They'll have so much fun they'll never know that you just wanted to go have fun wearing your Mickey Mouse Ears without them saying you were embarrassing them.
6. Be a Kid. It's Magic.

Make new friends, try new foods, dance in the streets, hug a person dressed like a mouse.

Happy Holidays!

Laundry, vacation style

5 people, an airplane and 1 checked piece of luggage leads you to this in three days...

How the hell am I going to carry all that crap down to the laundry room? Oh, no, I do not want help from those Pigs. I want time alone.

I loaded it up in my suitcase of course. Check the cute crochet flower I made. Hand spun yarn. Yes, my luggage is camouflage green with orange trim. Did you expect anything less?

So, my tips for travel:
1. Travel light
2. Obnoxious colored luggage
3. loud luggage marker (home spun yarn with crochet flowers optional)
4. Bring your own laundry detergent-Purex 3-1 sheets 20 loads $5. I don't want to do 20 loads, but I have that option. Plus, the Pigs have been know to barf a place or two, so I like to be prepared. Plus, sometimes I get barfed on by other people's kids.
5. Suck it up and throw the dirty ass laundry into your luggage and roll it down to the laundry room.



I pretended that I was on the phone with someone the whole way, and walked like I was Ginger from Gilligan's Island. Just to make laundry on vacation fun.

Then I went and had a lovely dinner with my family.


Ok, maybe it was a rowdy dinner with my family! Either way, it was fun! After, I went back to the peace and quiet of the laundry room and worked on knitting the Clap, oh, and the laundry.

Scarfy in Florida...

Here I am in lovely Florida. Note the scarf.

Do you know what scarf that is? It's the Print O' the Wave, wait that's too hard I'll do the Morning Glory Shawl! Yeah, the one you thought I'd frogged. No! Like learning to spin, I worked on it in secret! Yes, I knit on it like Mike, like a Pro, with my tongue out. Which if you are a NBA superstar, you can defend the tongue sticking out, but if you are a rather shitty knitter, the tongue thing just looks stupid. Thus, knit at home with snot.

Here you so Pigs, Pigs in line, being Pigs, wearing eye searing yellow t shirts.

Unlike many other families, I like to keep an eye on my pigs, and try to not lose them. The yellow shirts work like a charm.


I was also easy to spot. I had the scarf and a jacket on. I did fit with one other group...The French. They too had sassy scarves. The accepted me with open arms. That is until I started yelling at them with my horri-ble American memory of 9th grade French class "Tu est mal! Tu est mal! Tu est mal!" While a group of them were taking photos on the Spaceship Earth ride. Yeah, that translates to you are badly. Badly what? Badly annoying me with your illegal flash photography!

Well, now we are home and I have a bad case of the Clap...otis. It's another scarf. But luckily my sweet friend Linda took pity on my soul and this was waiting for me when I got home...


Sunday's outfit

Monday's Outfit

No Michigan Zombie Slayer's Outfit is complete without proper gear! Thanks again Linda!!

Bon Jour!

I'm back. I've got a foul mouth, and a low tolerance for princesses. The only Disney princess worth saving is Belle and technically, she is neither a princess, nor savable, she saves her damn self.

I bet she knits too. I bet she knits crappy, she doesn't have time for perfection! Also, she has a beast, I bet she knits with SNOT!!

Now, back to whatever it is a do regularly...

Ok, we had a blast. But some of my favorite parts were mean.

1. Dad called his daughter, in full $80 princess dress "Princess". Daughter age 5, took swig of soda, gargled it and yelled "I'm no Princess! I'm a ruddy Pirate!!" True. I almost peed.

2. On Nemo and friends ride, another princess screamed bloody murder. I couldn't help but laugh.

3. Nose picking in princess dresses. Priceless.

and number 4...

3 year old boy pissing on a tree while we walked to the mono rail. Who says there is no spontaneity at Disney.

Favorite Rides

1. Expedition Everest...even the time it broke down and we got walked off. It was like a behind the scenes ride!

2. Fantasmic-I wanted the villains to win.

3. Phillharmagic. That crap cracks me up! If you ever get a chance to sit next to Pig 2 during that, pure actual joy laughter.

4. Jungle Cruise-I would love to be a skipper on that ride. Look, the back side of water...O2H. Funny stuff.

5. All of Epcot.

Last night

Pigs at barf inducing ride w ogre. Im waiting for the magic of a stiff
drink. You offer free dining and suddenly everyone is willing to take
their kids out of school.

--
www.knitwithsnotforyou.blogspot.com
Like knit with love, only more fun. Did I mention the Ogre, 3 Little
Pigs and the occasional zombie?

Hey!

I may not be able to respond on Twitter...but I can read.
Two things:
1. Ralphe from the Koffee Klutch is mine.
2. Don't teach Wonder Why Gal to knit right...or I'll
have to get a new person to knit with snot aka like crap.

Snotty tips

Fwd: See you in a week!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Snotty <knitwithsnotforyou@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, 5 Dec 2009 05:51:25 -0500
Subject: See you in a week!
To: hmceab74.snotty@blogger.com

The mailing it in blog was a trial run because I've hit the road! Oh
don't worry or perhaps do worry I've got the Ogre and 3 Pigs with me.

So where do people from Michigan travel to in the dead nuts middle of
December? Yes the pub is choice number one. That's why there is one on
every corner an even why we call our liquor stores "Party" stores.

2nd top place for people in Michigan to go is...Florida! That's why
they call us Snow Birds. Because we migrate south. I wonder if geese
also migrate to rum?

3 Pigs=Disney
More when I have wifi xoxo to all ESP zpdk
Sent from my iPod

--
www.knitwithsnotforyou.blogspot.com
Like knit with love, only more fun. Did I mention the Ogre, 3 Little
Pigs and the occasional zombie?

We're Ready for You Winter

Tips for staying healthy, other than never leaving your house.

Wash your hands frequently.

Cough into your ante cubital area. That's your elbow pit. That way you're not spreading your germs.

If you are sick, stay the hell home (I swear, that's on the CDC web site "stay the hell home.")
Carry hand sanitizer-USE IT-after the atm, the gas station, the grocery, before you eat, when you get in the car...and so on.

Now, for those of you who recently moved here from warmer regions, Michigan is fooling you. It's normally already snowy here. So here are some things to get you ready for Winter in Michigan.

You need a sensible hat. 90% of your bodies heat comes out of your head.


So, really, don't be foolish, make sure you cover your head.

If you are a knitter, and you are under the impression that you will knit yourself a hat, you are kidding yourself. Go, go, now, and buy a hat. You can knit a hat later, but you need a hat now. Besides, hats get lost. I had one get caught in an arctic blast and get spotted over by Niagara Falls later that day.



Jackets. Note the S. You need more than one. Why?

It's cold and boring, and snowy here, so you end up doing things like sledding, or skiing or skijoring. All of which leave you with a wet jacket. You need a spare.

The above mentioned things, the cold, the snow and the boring, can also lead you to the pub. This too can lead you to needing multiple jackets. Especially if you get "asked" to leave on a Monday, you can come in wearing a different jacket on a Wednesday and they will never be the wiser. Unless you get asked to leave again.