Do you have a Job

Yesterday, someone asked me if I had a job. I said no.

That's because I apparently like being treated like shit for no pay, being criticized when things don't go the way other people think they should, and cleaning up other people's messes.

I'M A FULL TIME VOLUNTEER!!!

Funny thing is, the more I do it, the more I want to keep doing it. Even with the bad parts, you can't make up for the good. I'm not an adrenaline junkie, I'm a philanthropist junkie. Mother May I Volunteer? It's going to be Tori Spelling's next Lifetime movie.

Recently, The Ogre and I helped with the Home Grange Halloween Party. I worked mostly in the kitchen slinging Sloppy Joes.

I bleached those tables, because I care


Pirate Pig! Those are eyes sewn on his vest!!

Great costume on the cheap! Black clothes, cobwebs, white and black face paint!!

2009 Costume Winners!!!

Andrea showed up at the Grange Halloween as a Charity Knitter.

I know, I know you think I haven't been knitting! But I have. It's all been for this...
I really do need a cricut! I made ANOTHER sign.

That's a hand knit hat and scarf set on that sign See, everything will fit somebody!

Ok, sometimes, it won't fit somebody local. I'm going to have to either market these as decorations, or actually make new mates for these. Because no matter what angle I look at these...they just aren't the same size.

(On that note, I saw a guy in a wheel chair with only one leg yesterday. I said "hi" to him and had to bite my tongue...I almost asked if I could knit a sock for him. I finally found a place for all the SINGLE socks I knit. Bonus-he lives in my town!!!!!)

Hey, speaking of Grange, check out the Michigan State Grange awards that got handed out...

Sister Bear 1st Place in Jr Grange Photography and Fiber Arts-Other!

Now, tell me do I have a job? Setting a good example for all of these guys...


I have to make up for all the swearing I do in front of the Pigs...

Update your Ogre Knowledge...

Ogres do not like warm climates. That's why you find so many zombies in the South, plus there is the whole voodoo thing.

This also works well for the zombie slayer knitter and Ogre match up. Cold weather, knitting and Ogres all just seem to make good sense. I have no idea why so many Ogres are drawn to short women.

Snotty and Ogre Dr B & Jackie The Ogre and the Amazing Kat!

I'm going to say it's the short women looking ahead to the future and wanting to utilize storage on tall shelves.

What am I knitting? Mittens. Mittens for Soldiers, mittens for the Home Grange Bazzaar.

WHAT!!! You're telling me it's been 2 days since something awesome has happened at the Grange Hall. Well, you're right. It has been 2 days. You missed the Halloween Party. Which means you also missed a chance to have some of my now famous Sloppy Joes. But your loss.

Next chance to dine at Home Grange will be for the Annual

Swiss Steak Dinner and Craft Bazaar-

it's one of those food in the lower hall, crafts in the upper

December 5th!!

Food-swiss steak, real mashed potatoes, veg, rolls, dessert, all the fixings, for a reasonable price!

Craft Bazaar-mittens, scarves, baked goods, RICE KRISPY TREATS (although part of the trill is gone now that you know my assembly line process) Grange top secret pickles, aprons, antiques, crafts, ALL SORTS OF AWESOME STUFF and disgustingly LOW prices!!!

We've talked about renting tables to outside vendors...I'll let you know what the Grange has decided on this.

As a reminder, it's peak season for both zombieism and flu, so carry a shovel, increase your cardio, and wash your hands. (this is actually the amount of hand washing you should be doing, you filthy beast.)

Because Charity Work's Not Enough

I wrote a song too!

(It's got knitting in it)


I'm in the Pink Ghetto and I'm raising me some kids,
Got a sweet Volvo and a 10 pairs of Birkenstocks
Only shave my legs when I'm out of clean knee socks

Feels like I wasted so much time,
got a Doctorate from Brown
Only had to sleep with one prof,
but man, she was mighty hot

Wearing sweat pants all over town
My cords are all worn down
Took up knitting, and it's rad
Never going back to that corporate scene

Chorus:

I'm in the Pink Ghetto and I'm raising me some kids,
Got a sweet Volvo and a 10 pairs of Birkenstocks
Only shave my legs when I'm out of clean knee socks

Crisp Rice by the Batch, YO. Not Yarn Over

I may not cook that well, but the things I do, I kick hienie at. Sadly, one of my great skills is making Rice Krispy Treats. Or in this case "Crisp Rice Treats."


Oh, come on. I have tips. I make like 5 batches at a time. Who has that kind of patience? It's a skill, it's an assembly line. Henry Ford would be proud!

Look how happy!
(I wore that shirt again the next day and found 1 rogue krispy stuck to my sleeve)

I never get any flipping marshmallow on my hands but sometimes I get krispies stuck to like the phone or my camera. You all know I'm lazy. So I'm sure you know I have a secret...

Shall I break magicians code and reveal my secret?

Oh, hell, you know I can't keep a secret!!

Yes. Butter. But not any butter. FROZEN BUTTER. If you don't have several pounds of frozen butter in your freezer at all times, you are dead to me. Or vegan. No really, buy it on sale and it keeps in the freezer then it thaws fine. You don't love butter?

Anyway, if you are making Krispy Treats and you are at the dreaded "press mixture into pan with greased hands" step. STOP! and do this instead:


Use your FROZEN STICK OF BUTTER to press molten hot mixture into PARCHMENT PAPER lined pan.

While the 1st batch is cooling, line another pan with PARCHMENT PAPER. Put your butter back into the FREEZER, and....

Throw that spoon right back in and start over with the butter and the marshmallows!


Holy multiple pans of Crisp Rice Treats! By the time you are done pressing the 2nd batch in the pan, you can pull the 1st batch out by the parchment paper and set it somewhere out of the way.

Sure, I've been known to stack layers of krispy treats on the washing machine

This can go on, and on, and on.

8 Batches, 4 flavors, of 2 each
Fruity, Plain, Chocolate, Peanut Butter

(I usually do fruity first, wash the pan, and then go plain, chocolate, peanut butter straight on through with no washing again until the end.)

Trouble getting the marshmallow mess out of the pan? Water into pot, onto stove, boil.

Don't dread your next bake sale, family reunion, pot luck, holiday bake thing, bring Rice Krispy Treats...by the truck load!

Other thing I am good at making, sloppy joes, to serve 100.


Plus, we went on adventure and found the little door in Kalamazoo!

It's another Isla de Muerta thing!

We also like looking for the horse parking, and the little building.

Social Blunder...

Yesterday we went to our local Grocery Store. There was only one other family there with school aged children. They were quiet, orderly and calm. The Pigs and I were wild, disorderly, and, well acting like we normally do.

While shouting over the theme music to the movie Halloween, I told the Pigs to bag all the the cold stuff together. A store employee asked if we were doing a home school outing.

This was my reply, still in my loud voice:

"These are not home school children out on assignment. These are the last three healthy kids in our school district. I'm sick of being locked up in the house with them. "
Then I realized I was still shouting.

We're heading out again today. We're trying to stay healthy.

I may be shouting if you see me. We're loud.

Is it harshly worded enough?

Here's my harshly worded letter:

I hate you. Yes, you.

You who hack and cough as if your germs don't fly into Spinsanity's face.

I hate you who cough into your hands and then touch all over surfaces. What surfaces? The same damn surfaces that other people are going to touch.

COUGH INTO YOUR DAMN SHOULDER, OR ELBOW PIT. I don't know what the hell the proper name is for elbow pit, but you know what I mean.

Hey, person who takes a piss in a public restroom and then doesn't wash their hands. You, I hate you just in general all the time, so I'm throwing you in with this general public hate fest.

Why the hate? Because you are part of the problem. You aren't part of the team. You aren't even trying.

Little kids, old people, the immune compromised, and other groups, they already have strikes against them and you, you just blow your SNOT all around. Keep it up, continue being inconsiderate, see what happens, come near me...

So when I come at you with my shovel, and my bleach, don't say I didn't warn you.

What to do if you get sick-from the CDC (did you know I was offered a job a the CDC? Yeah, because of this...

Yeah, I've sort of got my wires crossed

Fingerless gloves and long scarves are all the rage. Go knit.

Shower.

Oh, buy some hand sanitizer.

Plus some coffee, and cheese.

I don't think this is a blog post, it's actually my to do list.

Open Invite to the Brave-Really the house is a mess

If you are on Ravelry, you may have already read this update.

But I'm also putting it here for those of you not in the know:

Ok, our school district has been SHUT DOWN, YO! Yarn over or Yo, as in a shout out, or holla, your choice.

Anyway, the Pigs and I are NOT SICK and we plan on staying that way!!

We are also not inviting any DAMN SICK PEOPLE into our safe house.

So, that being said, if you are not sick, *come over anytime after NOON Tuesday. I've got some serious piles of destruction that need attended to, that's why it has to be after the noon hour. You may also consider bringing a chair, we had an "incident" involving the big blue chair in the living room.

I have a completely messed up, not ready for guests house, a giant vat of vegan potato soup (sometimes that just happens) and a garage full of diet coke.

If you are sick, stay the hell home, you are not welcome here, there’s not enough han-er-tizer in the world to keep what you’ve got on you and off of me-even my bottle of all healing rum can't fight this.

If you are immune compromised, care for someone immune compromised, love bacon (there is none in the house, we do have roast beef though) or are germ phobic, I advise you to steer clear of South County Kalamazoo.

No, really. Head North Young Man, Head North.

*my house is like Isla de Muerta-it can't be found, unless you already know where it is.

There will be no Zombie Slayer Outings, No Kidney Foundation Meetings, No Meet Ups at the Koffee Klutch for me. I've got 3 Pigs in tow...so come over here...if you dare!

But, if you want some rocking, and I mean ROCKING zombie slaying action, go visit FatCatCrochet! She's holding down the post, Southern Style!

We Rocked the MI Grange Convention

Michigan State Grange 136th Annual Convention. The first question I get wasn't did you have fun, it was "Did they get some decent judges for the Contests this year?" It was a fair question considering how much I complained last year about a certain item of pink, fuzzy, questionable workmanship that will remain untalked about.

So let's start again and reword the question. Did they get judges that know about knitting, crochet, cross stitch, and fiber arts in general?

They got a lady who walks around in hand dyed, hand spun, hand knit socks, spinning straw into gold on her hand made spindle and then another lady who taught me how to crochet while I was still in the womb and who now works at a framing and cross stitch shop. I'm going to say yes, they got judges knowledgeable in the realm of needle arts.

But I'm sure there were complaints, even about them, because everyone thinks their work is best. Well, I certainly didn't.

Surprisingly, I can weave in ends! Plus-Wonder Why Gal takes 3rd-she's only been knitting since March! Must be that magical Alpaca!

The sweater that beat my sweater was AWESOME!! It was a first prize sweater. It certainly was no fun fur scarf.

Check out Sister Bear's hand Spun! Blue Ribbon! Jr Grangers also got a slew of Blue Ribbons!!

Yeah, one of the Judges actually told me I better get my butt moving and start working on something really special for next year because there are so many talented people in the Grange.

Thank you again to this year's judges!!!

I think I may have been called a slacker.

Hey, I may be a slacker in some areas but I'd say that at least one person was proud of me.

No not that one. Or that one. This one.

Grandpa Winter! He was proud! I was deemed a pleasant young lady by one of the delegates and
many complimented my level of enthusiasm.

I worked hard during committee meetings, and during session too.

see what I accomplished during session

Oh, come on. This is the one place where NOT knitting or crocheting during speeches and business is actually looked down upon. We've got cold hands to cover! Charity work, fairs, bazaars and next year's contests to knit for! Honestly, there were at least 5-10 people working on something at all times. That was just what I could see.

I was also pointed out as "the one who uses that good yarn." Now that's pretty cool.

Plus I was Flora!

Fancy Dress underneath
Both Donna Summer and Demeter would have been proud

Home Grange was no slouch either! We took 1st place, for large Granges, which means...


We'll be seeing you at National Grange in November!!!



Now, doesn't that look like fun? Don't you want to join Grange? It's a family fraternal order based in agriculture...plus it's got knitting contests and supports fancy dress!!!

Friday, I'm Flora

I was busy Wednesday Night picking out a sensible sweater to....You guessed it! Wear with a fancy prom dress!!!

Why? Because I get to be Flora on Friday!

Ok, I don't think "get to be" is exactly the phrase I should use. I think "married into the Grange," would be more accurate.

So Flora on Friday! it is. If you put me in a choir gown and I have to wear a flower head band...you get a Salvation Army Prom Dress, a Smart Cardigan and Sensible Shoes. Yeah.

Afterward, the Ogre's taking my fancy ass out on the town...Straight to the Casino!

Photos to follow! State Grange Contest info will be announced asap! I'm going to look so sassy!! You know I love to dress up and slay zombies!

They are ALPACA!

Oh! Look, Llamas!

No friends, these are not. They are alpaca. Do you wonder what the difference is? Well, you could go look it up on wiki, or ask an Alpaca owner! Like we did at the Vicksburg Fall Harvest Festival!

Wonder Why Gal, are those llama's?

Actually, no, these are Alpaca, camelid cousin of the llama. Whereas the llama is a pack animal, the graceful alpaca is bred for it's beautiful fiber!

Did someone say fiber? Is it bran or like fluff? The Zombie Prom Date Knitters Love FLUFF!


Plus, we apparently love cold weather, sitting under tents, and teaching other people to love the same things!

Hey, little girl, need a spindle? Try a Spinsanity Spindle!

You, in the boots, do you know how to work that thing? Another kid? Give that kid some fluff! Better yet, trick everyone into only spinning with goood suri alpaca fluff!!

Ok, ok, it wasn't just all about fiber! It was a day to Celebrate Vicksburg's Historic Village, the Awesome of Vicksburg, and just awesome, good times and well, you know.

Look! Moose and Canoe Coffee Shop! Right, normal people call it Boundary Waters, but if you are cool and in the know, it's Moose and Canoe. Sweet table, I think it was from the Antique Mall in Vburg.

Their was also food from Good to Go Cafe, and you know my Sloppy Joe meat suppliers Stubby's!! I also got some really nice soap from Curvy Girl Soaps-which proves I'm not a hippie. (for the record, don't google that-the soap maker not the hippie part.)

It wasn't all super awesome sunshine hippie hugs and I'd like to give the world a coke and teach blah blah songs and singing.


We had a bit of "I wonder why this trailer has a flat tire?" and "I wonder why this is not awesome right now?"

Anyway, super nice guy Randy, and then super nice guy at Heimstra helped us out and safely got Wonder Why Gal and little Emily back on the road.

What did I do? I was there for moral support, plus I flagged Randy done. I was also prepared to "borrow" a tire from another trailer. Hey, I've always said I'd lift a car off my friends, I'm ready to steal a tire for you too.