Dinos and Kidneys-YUM!

Not much is going on around these here days, and the camera is down, so here is a summary of the exciting highlights:

ME: "I added a new component to my blog!" I proclaimed to the Ogre, with excitement teetering on elation. (There's really not a lot going on around here)

The OGRE: "The truth?"

ME: "Sadly no."


On the vegetarian front. Yes, vegetarian, not vegan. I count it the way Bruce Banner counts days of not turning into the Hulk-1 day without incident.

The Pigs had a delightful dinner of dinosaur shaped processed chicken product. The adults in the house had a delightful winter veg soup. There were 2 left over chicky bits when I said:

ME: "I'd eat that if I weren't a vegetarian for the last two days!"

The OGRE: "You'd eat meat, that's shaped like other meat."

PIG 1: "Meat shaped like ancient extinct lizards."


That's about it. That's the excitement.

I do have some exciting Zombie Prom Date Knitters News to announce though.

Last year we challenged the Kalamazoo Knitters and Crocheters to a prayer shawl challenge. They beat us, and we want a chance to redeem ourselves.

This year we, the Zombie Prom Date Knitters, challenge the Kalamazoo Knitters and Crocheters to another Prayer Shawl Show Down.

The shawls this year will be donated to local Kidney Dialysis Patients.

The official start date is Feb 1st and we will run this challenge until May 2nd. At which time we will have a party, with cake and prizes. CAKE...

More details soon.

I swear, I just go to walk

At the Y again, walking the track. I decided to take one for the team and be the Target. You know, the person everyone else targets to lap. Plus my ipod was newly loaded and I really wasn't paying much attention to actual exercise as much as I was to Thom Yorke.


While walking, or shall we say strolling, or lolligagging about, an older gentleman takes full advantage of my speed and starts his walk by jumping right in front of me.

Ah, yes, I thought, he wants to officially count how often he laps me by starting off right in front of me. He then decided that lapping me was not enough, he would adjust his underpants. Which I found to be less than delightful.

On his third lap and third underpants adjustment, he turned to me and said "lapped you three times, how do you like it?"

Had I been deemed a lapper?? Was I labeled? No, better than that.

He went on "My wife was one of the few survivors of the Zombie Invasion of '74, she chewed her own arm off to save her life, you won't be lapping her again."

I politely grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and responded with you and your wife are a "bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes." Now, unless you'd like to go shovel to shovel out in the parking lot, I've got 6 more songs to listen to.

He, and his underpants, left in a huff.

Mits, Harmony and, and, Salt Shakers

Dear Don't Get Your Hands Dirty Zombie Slaying-Mitten Swap Friend,

Here is a sample of your mittens. Don't worry, if you don't like this one, the second one doesn't technically match. Ok, they sort of match, but the thumb is on the other side. Which, nearly didn't happen.

It has not been swatched, but I swear, that is hand shape. Ok, that is the shape of my hands. Man, I have some skinny hands! Good luck with those fitting.

That's why I threw in some extra stuff, you know like yarn, the exact same yarn these poor mittens were made from, so you can, you know, make mittens that fit you better.

PLUS-I was feeling guilty, so I got you some beautiful, artisan made stitch markers. Really, from a beautiful artisan-Laura!

xoxo,
First Time Mitten Maker

What's this you say? Why those are knitpicks Harmony Needles jabbed in my salt shaker of course. Why do you ask?

Oh, you don't keep your knitpicks Harmony needles in your seasonings? Well, I had to because the damn things (I promised myself I wouldn't swear) did not bring me Harmony, they brought me turmoil, and a mild case of wanting to kill something. Which is fine if your main job is zombie slayer. Which trust me, does not pay as much as I thought it would initially. Big on glory, low on pay.

So the supposed Harmony. Let's say the name is against my better judgement. Really, I'd rather go to Hell, Michigan than Freedom, California, because really, at least Hell is being straightforward.

Harmony, only if it means "breaks at the seam while knitting and causes great DIS Harmony."

The Ogre got the needles out of my hands during a tirade of swears and Gorilla Glued them and another questionable bit of Harmony. Leading to the salt shaker drying system.

This, this is my lovely sweater. Look closely and you will notice it's cute patterned yoke.


But don't look too closely, because this is a "work in progress" photo, and not the finished lovely.

So it's come to this

I really just started knitting to have something to do while watching teley. You know Sunday is football day, or hockey day, or basketball day. So really, something to do was necessary. But look at all the madness, MADNESS I tell you, it's lead me to.

Knitting in public, at football games even, teaching other people to knit, giving hand knit gifts, pushing yarn and needles on non knitters. It's really escalated, because now, I'm spinning my own darn yarn. Ok, it may not technically always be called yarn, but still.

So now, I'm planning on going to this event:

River's Edge Weaving Studio is sponsoring our 1st annual "Fiber-In" Jan 31, 2009 from 9a.m. to 5p.m.

Please bring a dish to pass if convenient. REWS will be providing table settings and paper products, coffee, tea and hot water.

Spinners, knitters, weavers, needle felters, CSMers...all levels and fiber activities welcome.

Where: Grand Ledge Public Library Meeting Room, 131 E Jefferson, GL, MI 48837.

Map: Grand Ledge Public Library

Any vendor desiring to sell items please contact me first. A vendor charges and submit sales tax.

Contact carol@weavingstudio.com

VENDORS:
1. REWS - us - we will be bringing some of our newest fibers & yarns.

2. Melissa Zinkosky - Soaps, Fiber, Yarns and Lavender




See what I mean?? Pure crazy. Ok, I need to go, because this Sunday is THE BIGGEST football day. I'm going to need a pre football day of Fiber. Go Steelers!!

It's really a problem

took pigs to inkheart
saw preview for HP 6-cried

ended the evening watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
it was a thinly veiled excuse to see the Dr and Edward in the same movie

I mean David Tennet.

Inkheart was fun. Lot's of knit hats in the first 10 minutes. Helen Mirren is delightful, Brendan Frasier is pretty, and one of the boys from Nick and Nora's infinite playlist was fun.

Cheesy kids movie that did not hurt my soul to watch. That's a winner in my book.

It's sssssweet Precious

The Super Secret Surprise Sweater is almost done!! Ok, I did promise Wednesday, but I actually left the house. I think defeating SNOW MADNESS is probably a mentally sound reason for not finishing a SSS Sweater in record time.

It's super cute too. I've already got my mind set on making another one. Or maybe pulling the sleeves out and making this one short sleeve and then making the other long sleeve. Hey, this is starting to sound a bit like SNOW MADNESS again.

Me, rip out sleeves? Knit another of the same sweater??? It's really cute though. Oh, you are so curious.

So, speaking of curious, what the hell is up with Monoloco? I believe that all the awesomely heaven-ness of the Seattle region has been keeping her from listening to us MI whiners. Then again she could have inhaled too many paint fumes and is currently thinking she still is in MI.

Either way, Monoloco I've been getting lot's of "I miss Shelly" comments from the Kzoo/BC area. You might want to work on a guest room/house at the rate we're going.

Where to do it in Kalamazoo

Knitting in Public. It's a right of passage for knitters. The first time is a bit intimidating, after that, you'll whip it out just about anywhere. I don't suggest knitting in a public restroom, but maybe that's just me.

In Kalamazoo County here are some places we've knit, as a group or separately:

1. Water Street Coffee Joint-Oakland dr location
Comfy couches in back, sometimes hard to get a seat. The employees love us (we tip well) some of the more studious types in the establishment don't enjoy our carefree attitude.

Threatened with violence: 1

2. Plum Crazy Ice Cream-North Westnedge
This location is a counter service with delicious ice cream. Many just come in for cones and leave, so a group taking up space does not interfere. As for seating-well, I'd rather stand.

3. Summer Tyme-Portage rd
I have not been to this locale, but I hear it is nice, understanding and comfy.

4. Bell's Brewery-downtown
Bell's hates groups of knitters. The light is dim and they don't play requests.

Threatened with violence: 2

5. Theo & Stacy's-Portage rd
These people love a crowd. The more the better, plus flaming cheese! They have a folding wall to separate us from the quiet bunch.

Did I mention flaming cheese? Right. Plus this where the phrase Roman Coke was coined.

6. Handweavers Inspiring Yarn-Oakland Plaza
I hate it there, others think it's fine. I hate the barky dog, the uncomfortable bench, and the chairful of bowlies inspired table cloth has been known to cause motion sickness. But if that's your gig, do as you please. Oh, they do have couches, I've never been able to get near one at a social function.

7. WMU Sporting events

Lawson arena parking lot before football games. Perfect location! Bring a chair, your beverage of choice and knit and trash talk football. My fav.

Waldo Stadium-Dry stadium, built in a time before people had legs. Seating is cramped, knitting can be accomplished, but you may have to have the row in front of you hold your yarn. Small projects only.

Lawson Arean-HOCKEY!!! Excellent place to knit. Blanket knitting would be loved by your friends. The chilly air makes knitting extremly enjoyable, and sensible. The seats are roomy, and have a back!

Please note, sitting behind the goalie is desirable if knitting is in your Hockey viewing plans. There is a net to keep random pucks out of your teeth. Plus, if you sit by the bench, those guys are pretty, in a Clive Owen/Daniel Craig kind of way, but they stink. They stink enough to make you regret those nachos.

8. Olde Peninsula Brew Pub
I love knitting here. I drop my car off for an oil change and walk on down to the Pub, knitting in tow. The booths are nice to knit in, the beer is great, and the wait staff...EXCELLENT!!

If you are loud, no one can hear you anyway, it's always loud in there. There is also a small side room if you are ashamed of your knitting.

9. Koffee Klutch-Galesburg
Super nice owner, convienently located between Kalamazoo and Battle Creek. Small area, but not often busy due to it's location.

Day After Thanksgiving Incident '08-their website posted they would be open, we arrived and they were closed.

10. Good to Go Cafe-Vicksburg
Ok, ask Laura, she was the only one who made it. I suspect it could be awesome. Great food, only really busy at lunch time, and then, well, it's Vicksburg, how busy could it get.

I've got my sights on a new coffee shop in Scotts. Yeah, Scotts. I was weirded out by commerce there too.

Main St Pub's usually have a seperate room. That seems good. Bennuci's-I love me some pasta.
I've also been thinking about that Chocola-Tea on Westnedge. Although it's pretty close to the cop shop.

I hurt all over, or how I became a Vegan-Hare Krishna

In an attempt to combat my ever growing ass, I bought this book Skinny Bitch.

It's like if I told you to "shut up and stop drinking soda, it makes your ass fat." I need that kind of inspiration.

So, I read the book, and I'm all "Sweet, I can do this! I want all my friends to call me Skinny Bitch! I know all that stuff about farm factories! Right on! Right on!"

Then, at the end of the book I swear it says "Ok, now you're a Vegan! Congratulations!"

I did not see that coming.


At the same time as all this started, I signed up for a yoga class at the Y. Like a Hatha yoga class. And now, now, I hurt all over, and I've got My Sweet Lord stuck in my head.

What do I really want? To cry.

Not everyone thinks I'm evil!!

Someone likes me!! Better yet, she thinks I'm awesome and gave me an award!!

Check out Knatolee's World

I will do this up good and proper later. I've got Pigs, and toothbrushes, and a small skirmish breaking out. Yes, tooth brushing Pigs and zombie fighting-all before 8:30 am. The Army's got nothing on me.

No, I like it here

I think the last time I left the house was last Wednesday. First snow, then snow day, then an explosive Pig 3. Yesterday all I wanted to do was leave the house, now, I'm the explosive one.

But hey, between Netflix, Audible and itunes, do I really need to go out?

Plus, I can download knitting patterns, and have pizza delivered. It's really not too bad, except for the occasional explosion.

Brown and Secret...Wow, that could be anything!

Brown Silky Tweed project-aka Top Secret Pull Over Sweater-soon to be the next big thing-is going really quickly.

Honestly, there is nothing else to do but knit around here, so yeah. I should be done with it on say, Wednesday?

Unless I decide to rip it out....Wahhahaaha

I AM bringing Snowpants back!

Kristinknits asked if my snowpants were bib style. I give you a hearty "YES!"




How did I end up with such lovely bibs? Turns out the wicked cold of Michigan is even too much for a young Ogre's pelt to withstand. These are in fact hand me downs from a 10 year old Ogre.

Do you like all the sassy layers it takes just to be in the house? I use the dog as a foot warmer, even when I go out. It's a bitch fitting him down by the brakes, but, anything to keep warm.

20 minutes to get ready to go outside.

Those are drifts in my front yard.

So, because of my lack of desire to venture forth into the tundra, I'm done with the Loppem. Sadly, it will take until spring for it to be done blocking. You see, I blocked it and it froze.

But don't worry about us. The Ogre thought we were low on supplies to last if there was an actual blizzard.


So he stocked up.

As for knitting, I've moved on to something very exciting. I've finally found a pattern for my silky tweed.


It's looking good so far!

Full Tilt Snow Madness up in the Joint

Loppem Sweater finished. Ok, ends need to be woven and it needs, what's that thing people do to make their knitting look nice? Oh, yeah, blo-cking.

What else? Two at a time socks. I conquered that bitch. Sure, there was crying, and snot, but I finally beat it down.

Pigs-all three here. I'm thinking we're going to watch Resident Evil-Extinction after lunch. Because what's a snow day without zombies?

Khan

One of my great loves has passed away, Ricardo Montalban. He'll always be the sexy Khan to me.
He had me at:

"You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and death."

But I was completely smitten when he uttered.

"I shall avenge you."

Lot's of Love to you Ricardo, darling.

It really is Knit with Snot

In theory, and that's how I knit, "in theory," the Loppem sweater was going to be all done and lovely and ready for it's close up.

Sadly, I got to watching Dr Who, shoveling, and general bon-bon eating. But the Loppem' thing has got sleeves. Again, sleeves in theory.

Now, I've been spending a lot of time with Pig 3. I've learned a few things. Mostly snot related things.

When you tell Pig 3 to wipe his nose, he will, on his sleeve, and then he'll lick the snot off the sleeve.

People think his frequent donning of a bandana is cute. People assume he's very big into cowboys. He's not. It's actually his favorite method of snot blocking.

Finally, Pig 3 is one with Snot, and Snot is one with Pig 3. Sadly, I'm just covered in it.

A drink with Jam and Bread

I broke down and tried this Five Minutes a Day for Fresh Baked Bread trick that was in Dec/Jan Mother Earth News (yes, I subscribe.)

It actually worked!

Added bonus-it was edible!!! Now I have something worthy of Grandma's Jelly.

Now, on to knitting. Did I mention I was making the Loppem from Norah Gaughan's Vol 3? Well, here it is just before the start of the sleeve section. I'm two skeins in and I haven't ripped it out due to boredom or confusion.

This may be my perfect knit. Beware! I may start making tons of these!

Here also is a lovely shot of how nice my coffee mug will look with soon to be finished sweater.


Hey, it's snow madness around here. You start thinking "will my mug match my sweater." It's not like I can get my car out and go anywhere.

Already Behind

I'm already behind on Holiday '09 knitting. The whole "let's work on Stockings on Saturdays!" thing went down fast. It didn't even go down swinging. I decided that I really didn't want hand knit Stockings. What I really wanted was a cleared out driveway, a full tank of gas, and a half a pack of cigarettes.

This is how close I got to Chicago. I'm thinking I'm not getting the band back together.



So, instead of the work on Holiday Gifts '09 Plan, I switched over to training the Pigs to become Artisans. That's at least what I told Pig 3.

5k Training goes Whole Wheat

I've decided that I need to work on my 5k time for this up coming season, so I've been walking at the Y. Sure I could walk at the mall, but I'd end up trying to shop and then I'd get thirsty, and the next thing you know, I'd be sitting down drinking an Orange Julius.

So, the Y. I was walking, and making good time. I was feeling pretty sassy, so as I lapped the two ladies pushing a jogging stroller I hollered

"Lapped you again, bitches!"

Then I noticed the one lady was like 70 and only had one arm. I felt pretty shitty. Until she responded

"I was bit by a zombie in the invasion of '74. I chewed my own arm off to prevent infection. You wanta go-bitch?"

I was again glad that I am a fast walker.

Hipster Skinny cuts my Hair

The lady who cuts my hair doesn't like me. No, she didn't give me a horrible "I hate you!" haircut, she just likes Shelly better. Yeah.

I sit in the chair and she's all "Where's Shelly? She's awesome!"

It went on like this for an hour. AN HOUR! I don't have enough hair for an hour haircut. So, it turns out, we have to break up. Why? Because Shelly's gone on to a better place, and I'm just not exciting enough for her to cut my hair.

Plus, all the girls in there, actually, even the guys are skinny. Like hipster skinny with black tights, long sweaters and boots. No, the guys were not wearing tights, but tight pants, and then all skinny under them.

I'm levi's and a stripey sweater. I leave and have a Mom hair cut in front and fun hair in back. I have a freaking Mom Mullet. I am business in the front and party in the back! Maybe I did get an "I hate you" haircut.

Oh, wondering about the better place Miss Shelly went to? She's actually currently in the Creek, but she will soon be in the land that gave Flannel and Starbucks to the masses. Crap, they must have a lot of caffeinated zombies in the Seattle area.

Wear galoshes and carry a big shovel! We're going to miss you!!

All's Quiet on the Zombie Front

But it's loud as hell on the knitting front!

Really, I haven't seen a zombie since that last unnaturally warm bit. Ah, and people think green house gases have thrown a wrench in the weather. It's actually all those underground reanimators screwing with the geothermal temps. But some mad scientists just aren't happy without a horde of undead to do their bidding. (Now I've got JoCo's Skullcrusher Mountain stuck in my head.

Yep, temps go down, zombie slaying drops to zero, the knitting cranks up to full gear and my ass gets big from lack of exercise. It really is a vicious circle.

Emergency Waiting for the tow truck knitting.

Yes, that's the inside of my backpack. You wonder why heinously tangled yarn doesn't bother me-it brings me inner peace.

I was sucked in by Nora Gaughan's vol 3.


FPH is now FPL!

Yep, it's now Fluffy Peach LOVE!! It's been frogged and turned into a LOVEY!!!

Wait! There's more...surprise item!


Soon to be all the rage!!! Designer bits bag!

I will always felt with fleecey sweatpants!

It's not just knitting that's keeping me on my butt. Check what's on the Joy. Bonus shot-more yarn to keep me seated!



Oh, wait! This yarn has been nudging me too!

Yes, nudging me to sit and knit socks. Two at a time even! I'll be sitting for a long time trying to figure that out.

If this keeps up, I'll be knitting until May! Wait! That's when the snow will be gone and camping season starts!

Questions about the New Dr Who?


Matt Smith or is it really Pig 1? They look the same age.

Did you know this?

Several things have recently come to my attention. One of which is household cleaners shouldn't mix. I know this, you know this, but in my presence they always seem to go toxic. I've decided less cleaning is the safest form of action.

Also pointed out-the new face of Dr Who. It's not pretty. Ok, maybe it's pretty but it's young and it's not my beloved Daniel Radcliffe.

It's 2009. Thanks for pointing that out lady with 4 year old in pink footie pj's at the McD's playland past noon. I wish she would have brought to my attention the reason for the kids footie pj's.

Finally, I recently became aware of why you should use denim in the wash when felting, rather than say a pair of light blue sweat pants.

I now have a black felted bag with a bunch of "designer" blue fleece bits felted in. It's soon to be all the rage.

FPH-Explained!

FPH-Fluffy Peach Hate

Remember how I was beaten in a knitting competition by a scarf that I dubbed Fluffy Pink Hate? Well, now I have some Fluffy Peach Hate to unleash upon the world.

This was going to be a Kicky Little House Coat aka Long Coat with Chevron Lace from Stephanie Japel's Fitted Knits. But really, gauge was ignored and turns out I have boobs. I don't know when that happened. But with the boobs and the FPH, I look a bit like a furry hooker. Really, not what I was going for.

No, there are no photos. Do you really want photos of that? You sick dog!

Photos, photos, photos...some gaugeless knitting to observe. A baby bib, and a barf rag. A pretty barf rag, but still.


You've noticed the prevalence of red and white knitting? Ah, yes, there's going to be a little White Stripes baby in February. Oh, not for me! Although the Ogre was beginning to worry.


Actually, rock and roll knitting is actually taking over my knitting scene.


Here is my yet to be felted bag from the Kelley Deal Bags that Rock book. Now I have a bag like she does! I'm practically a member of The Breeders now! That doesn't sound right.

Speaking of dorky, check this sweater. Look at the length of those arms!


No, I didn't knit this! Jerks.

Shelly, in an attempt to save cash, has taken to recycling sweaters for yarn. I think she'll have a sweater from the arms alone.

Now I leave you with a photo of the Pigs. I sent them to WINTER CAMP!

No, really they loved it.

Wow, so much excitement!

Excitement from Day 3 of the New Year:

"Get me some coffee, bitch."

"If it weren't for the fact that my dog bit your boob, I'd be offended."

Excitement from Day 4:

"The Colts lost? What the hell!"

"Yeah, but your man Sproles got the winning TD in overtime."

"You know, he is the Muggsy Bogues of the NFL."

That About Covers It

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Margaret Mead