Making Knitting Cool, Day after Day

Zombie Prom Date Knitters had it's first male join! He's actually a crocheter, but we use the term "knitter" loosely.



I scored a great new mug. The basement, when completed will be painted all super cool, to match the mug. Yes, the mug represents my vision of "the 50's dream of the future..."


I know I'm a dork, you don't need to remind me. Not only does the rec room have a name, we are hanging photos of famous scientists and painting scientific equations on the walls. Yeah, the nerd card is laminated and sitting right next to the ZPDK card.

Speaking of nerdy things... While scrapbooking with the girls, I thaught Erika to knit! Be the change you wish to see in the world?


Or teach your friends to knit so they can make their own sassy berets.



She's bringing sassy back.

Speaking of bringing sassy back. Look what I found while cleaning the basement...



My biker jacket!
Ah yes, what was found in the pockets? A hand full of change, a tampon, a coupon that expired in 1994 thus making the tampon about 13 years old, and a sweet little eye gouging knife. Somethings never change.

Although somethings don't change, look how much the basement has changed! Empty, and clear of cat piss. So help me, if that cat pees on the floor now, he will go the way of the mice...


Ah, how to celebrate New Years? With some Briar Rose Yarn and a Cuba Libre!


I'm making another cardigan for myself. Can a girl really have too many cardigans?

Ways to Torture Myself for the First 6 Months of the New Year

First let's check out New Year's 2007 and see how I did...

2007's New Year's Resolutions

1. Be a better prepared, nicer Mom. Yep, all candy and mud for the pigs. They love it, and it's working great so far.

2. Take photos of completed knitting projects and post for all to enjoy. Actually the photos are going to be a record of where all my money goes.

3. Stop yelling at random strangers. I'm going to tazer them instead.

4. I plan to stop drinking too much and making an ass of myself.

5. Try to live more like Einstein, and Ghandi, and Buddha. But pork is so tastey.

Really #4 is a total lie, I love making a drunken ass of myself.

Gosh, I did a really good job last year! I thought I would have put in unrealistic things like "be nice to other people, blah, blah go to more peace rallies..." Oh, you thought that's what #5 was referring to? No, those guys were all vegetarians.

But really, # 3, stop yelling at strangers, tazer them instead? Check, and double check!

So, how can I top that list and better myself for 2008? I do have to say, I have to work on that #5, so let's start there and make it numero uno this year.

Ways to Torture Myself for the First 6 Months 2008
(trying to be realistic)

1. Try to live more like Einstein, and Ghandi, and Buddha.

2. Learn Spanish from someone other than Dora the Explorer.

3. With each knitting lesson, one free zombie slaying. But not if the zombie is spotted at night, or when it's cold out. Oh heck, or if it's too early in the morning, let's be reasonable here, I'm not Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she lives in Ohio.

4. Eat more veggies. Wait, that's number 1.

Ah ha! Help the Pigs to eat more veggies!! That whole candy and mud thing from last year back fired a wee bit and now the Pigs think they are entitled to non stop junk. Well the "better prepared nicer" Mom stops December 31st, and the "have a freaking apple" Mom starts Jan 1. Yeah.

5. I plan to start drinking more and making an ass of myself. I figure the Ogre should have some fun this next year too.

No mention of my cooking? These are resolutions not miracles!

Ah, not miracles, but this is a...

CONTEST!

If you make a list of 5 resolutions in the comments...and THEN in June comment again on the New Years Update Post...I will pick a winner at random...for Yarn, a Zombie Prom Date knitters something and maybe a home baked nightmare from me. Cool eh? Tell all your friends, or I'll sic my Ogre on you.

Ogre, Friend, Foe, or Fiend?

The whirlwind pit of doom known as the basement is making tempers run high at Casa de Ogre. We have, ok I am bad at math, but less than a week until work starts and there is still cat pee, a portal to alternate dimensions, and possibly the parts to transform a 80's diesel vehicle into a french fry oil burning car of the future.

We're working away when the Ogre says "look at all these Dangerous Chemicals that we never use, I am going to dump them into the landfill."

I took the bag of papers that I was getting ready to recycle and threw them at his Castle Grey Skull and took off crying.

Why? Why you ask? Why did I cry? Because I love the environment!

1. Recycling, changing our garbage company because they didn't offer frequent enough recycling pick up, (remeber CHANGE to Ogres is very frightening).

2. Keeping our programable thermastat at the "just above pipes freezing" setting, while at home even. Just to do my part.

3. Pestering the local grocery store so much about wanting a ring your own/bag your own lane that they actually put them in. Not one lane, but like three.

4. Spreading the word about how Plastic Bags Blow to Sarah who already knew this but wanted some bags. She then told some students about reusablebags.com and they are doing Environmental Good at their local High School.

So when the Ogre said dangerous chemicals+landfill all I saw were 1 million baby seals deformed by pollution cancer, choking on 6 pack soda plastic, then being clubbed to death by Humvee driving, fur coat wearing, unrecylcing women who wear too much make up that was tested on bunnies. So basically Cruella De Ville.

Oh, no my friends, it doesn't stop there. Then I went into the bathroom to cry about the state of the world and the melting polar ice cap and the dead seals. The bathroom the Pigs use. The one with the Piss-o-meter behind the toilet to measure how much piss in a week actually does get on the floor. The bathroom that the dog now sleeps in because he is so old and grumpy he has taken to eating anything that gets near his mouth.

While in this pee/dog/ stench room I conclusion...The Ogre, who drives a gas guzzling Dodge Durango, likes the air conditioning to be on all summer, wants to be the heat up all the way to 68 in the winter and, and, can't remember that our area recycles plastics 1,2, and 5, must be a...Republican.

When I went back down to the pit of doom and said we had to get a divorce because he was a Republican and I could not remained married to him his response was "I also want carpet in the basement, I don't think the toxic fumes would do any damage to the Pigs."

He realized I was upset. Then made me a gourmet bowl of oatmeal. Actually, any food that isn't made by me, which translates to "not burned" is pretty much gourmet.

Knitting front....

I taught someone how to knit yesterday! Photos and maybe even video to follow! Oooh, the evil camera does video. Better watch your back Shannon BC!

Haha! I taught knitting at Scrapbooking :)

Also, if anyone needs some scrapbooking supplies, I got me a dealer...

Larges Towing...Or Largely Criminal

Name:	Larges Towing Komarcks Road Service
Phone:	(269) 962-6127
Fax:	(269) 288-0017
Address:	150 Grove St
	Battle Creek, MI 49015-2283
Original Business Start Date:	January 1975
Principal:	Mr. Daniel Ure, Owner
Customer Contact:	Mr. Daniel Ure, Owner - (269) 962-6127
Incorporated:	April 2002
Employees:	5
TOB Classification:	Towing-Automotive
BBB Accreditation:	This organization is a BBB Accredited business.

Ok, a knitting blog listing tow truck business information. Hold on a few and you'll understand why.

Grandpa was in a car accident yesterday. He as removed from the smashed up Ford Taurus with the Jaws of Life, (not the Tooth of Death, Jaws of Life.)

Larges Towing came and got his car. They took it upon themselves to remove everything from his trunk. The trunk area which was NOT demolish. They then took it upon themselves to remove his Christmas presents and put them all in one place and take his $800 digital camera and put it in a separate room, away from the rest of his belongings. Huh, curious.

Larges Towing also decided to take his Christmas Dinner left overs and put them in the employee refrigerator.

When my In Laws went to pick up his belongings they were given his Christmas presents. My Mother In Law said "We're short a camera." They then went off to the other room to get it. If she hadn't have know it was in the car, it would have been "unclaimed." Which seems a lot like stolen to.

They then said "We saved the food items that were in the car by putting them in the Frig." Yeah, they saved them real nice. THEY ATE HIS FREAKING LEFT OVER HAM.

So if you are in a car accident and the Battle Creek Police call a tow truck for you and you see the Larges Tow truck-Grab your valuables-and your left overs.

Oh and you can kiss you 36 months of no complaints to the Better Business Bureau bye-bye.

We Will ALWAYS Go Out Knitting!

Hello friends!

Just a quick warning, er, notice. There will be Zombie Prom Date Knitters today! That's right, I was able to unload some Pigs and so it's KNIT ON!




(I really need a better photo that doesn't involve my neck.)


As for the ZPDK T's I will be taking orders for them!! They are going for $16 and the tiny amount of proceeds are going to blind kids. Sounds like such a lie doesn't it? It's true! My sweet Aunt who made the original works at KRESA with visually impaired kids. The woman may get canonized, or just hit with a cannon. Either way, evil shirt=good cause!



You may note the Pocky, the Hob Nobs, and the Mexi-Coke. The way I figure, if Santa is going to travel the whole world delivering presents, he's going to get hungry and have to stop at a few Quik-E-Marts. Man can not live on cookies and milk alone. Besides, I know this man loves him some Rum and Beef Jerky. He about bought Stubby's out.


Hand made Holiday!!! New curtains!!!

"I feel like Hugh Hefner!"






Random Quotes:
"This is awesome, not boring awesome, super awesome." Pig 1

"Ogres are tall" Holly

Pig 2 after getting a card and check "I got a bill"

"Holly do you want Suet Pudding?" "No, I'm drinking my dessert!"



Pig 2 "This is gross"





Update:
Grandpa is ok. He was defending a whole family from a vicious zombie attack. He managed to save the family, but he did break his wrist, a finger and sprained an ankle. I can't even describe what that man did to the zombies.

Zombie Prom Date Holiday!

Ok, best gift EVER...


How evil is that? Zombies be warned, my gang is preparing for battle! We may stop for coffee along the way, but really, wasn't it the boy scouts that said "be prepared?" I know I am more prepared when I have a mocha, soy, no whip and a cookie in my system.

Another great gift harmonicas, for the Pigs. Never would have seen this one coming. Now the Ogre and I can get a moments peace and quiet. Well, we at least get a moment of peace.



Mexi-Coke's best friends


Mexi-Coke's other best friend



I think Mexi-Coke and Puerto Rum should hit the road and have some sort of little travel sized babies. I know I'd always carry one in my knitting bag, in case of emergencies. You know like global zombie take over, or really long flight delays. You never know when you are going to be holed up somewhere and need that little kick of real caffeinated sugar cola and the calming effect of rum. Plus it just tastes good.


What else tastes good? Lemon Meringue Pie-Check this work of art...

Of course I didn't make it,you know I burn pre made pork chops. The Ogre is the cook at Casa de Ogre.


Then he was all grumpy because he had to sit at the Pig table...




Don't worry, I had the evil camera out all day...





Where was Alice??!!?? 4 Alarm Zombie fight! Let's hope she made it back home ok!!!

Knitting update:

Kristinknits was working on a beautiful grey cabled scarf with Reynolds Blizzard. Very swank. I had not seen the Reynolds Blizzard before. Does anyone carry Reynolds yarn around here? It was really nice stuff! I'd like a super soft bulky to knit with! Note the whining. Do I need yarn? NO-NO-NO-NO-NO.

Side note, work on New Years Resolutions to torture self with through about May. Good.

Carina just finished this Tam. Crazy isn't it! Pattern from the most recent Knitty. Makes me want to put away my hoser hats and berets and break out the girly fab tams!

Alice gave Jeanne the fab pair of socks that she had been knitting on at ZPDK. Gorgeous as always.

I am making the world's largest Garden Gate Scarf. It's so long that I may need to grow taller to wear it. OR buy taller Zombie Stomper boots.

I also need to make some sleeves for the Tulip sweater you have been hearing nothing about. Right now it's a very swank Tulip Vest.

You Too Will Soon Feel Like This...

I recently scored some of the infamous Amish Friendship Bread. The instructions I got with my starter said "don't get rid of your starter, only the Amish know the secret of making more."

I thought, or really, only the Amish know how to rot crap on their counter? I seem to be pretty darn good at rotting stuff. I seem to recall making even making cheese in my old mini van with a sippy cup, a bumpy road, and a warm day. Besides, I have made starter for Amish Friendship Bread, and I'm pretty sure I use 'tricity, vaccines and the dreaded buttons. I like buttons.

So, I checked the Amish Bread Story at my favorite source...WIKI! Here's what it says:

The first time "Amish Friendship Bread" was discussed on Usenet was in a posting on February 5, 1990. It was an experiment by Girl Scout Troop 15, c/o Emilie Manning in Oswego, NY and was posted by Patrick Salsbury.

The results yielding from a traditional Amish Friendship Bread recipe is a sweet quickbread with a taste and crumb very similar to a cake. The starter, however, may be used to make lots of different types of bread.

A similar (cake) recipe, named "Hermann" has existed in Germany since the 1980s.

Since I lost the original directions to my starter, and I was all angry about the "don't get rid of your starter only the Amish know the secret" anyway, I found a more fitting set of instructions at Decapitating Shadows...

Day one: This is the day you receive your starter. Do nothing.

Day two: Mush the bag.

Day three: Mush the bag.

Day four: Mush the bag.

Day five: Add one cup each of flour, sugar, milk. Mush the bag.

Day six: Mush the bag. Begin to wonder if all this stuff festering on your counter is really hygienic......

You have to check out the rest of the instruction. They are hysterical. Go now to Decapitating Shadows. I'm going to ask for permission to copy those instructions to include with my starters when I force them upon you...

No Evil Camera,Shannon!

Well, Zombie Prom Date Knitters was a small affair yesterday. I didn't say quiet, I just said small. Too bad for Shannon BC...I forgot to whip out my camera, and she wasn't there to bask in the glory.

Let's see who did we offend? A minister in training, a homeschooling family outing, and perhaps the man who said "I don't even want to know what the hell is up with those chicks." I think that statement may have been uttered during the semi erotic talk about Gluten Free Guy and the general loveliness of CSI:NY.

Where's my stitches? When is Zombie Prom Date in January? I love me some MI Knit Chicks!


That's right CSI:NY, if the cast even needs a substory and magically ends up in Kalamazoo and the short guy with glasses is all torn up about Montana being injured and needs to go to a local coffee shop to knit and ease his mind...Then meets up with the Zombie Prom Date Knitters and happens to uh, not make out at all but just talk knitting, with me, being played by me, that would be cool.

I would also be keen on talking knitting with any male cast members on that show, Gary (Lieutenant Dan!) , Dude who was Tag on Friends. Sorry about lack of name knowledge, I just look at the pretty pictures.

No, the Ogre doesn't know about my CSI:NY problem. He thinks I hate the show. I always say "Oh, is this the only thing on? I guess we can watch this." Heeheehee.

From Toilets to Tomatoes...I Can do That

Because you bathe in tubs, and poop in toilets, and you really aren't supposed to mix the two up, when you get poo in your tub, it makes for trouble. What kind of trouble?

Well, it took some of this for me to clean the tub...



No, I didn't use sweet, sweet rum on the poo tub! I had to drink liberal amounts of rum to be able to face the raw sewage stench of the bathroom. Yeah. Remember cute coffee boy and wink-wink come hither and me saying "not enough bleach in the world?" I love bleach. I love clean. I have poop in a bath tub. It was hurting my brain just knowing that.

Big shout out to Keith for the P. R. rum. Very sippable, very brain numbable.

On a less crappy note, let's talk about Interweave Knits. Actually, Knit Scene by Interweave Knits.



So, no, the Ogre would not wear this sweater, but really, look at that model. Nice. The whole magazine is full of similar loveliness. Ok, not as good as this fine example, but much nicer on the whole than your regular magazine. What am I saying? It weren't all full of skinny white blonde chicks.

Don't get me wrong, there was one blonde girl in a tank top that was really dying for a ham sandwich. I won't put her here. But it's the model for the prairie halter.

But a big Snotty Shout Out to Shannon Okey of knitgrrl.com for her top-down raglans for big girls article. Girl knows her stuff.



Not only is this a cute sassy sweater but anyone can make it. She's chosen a decently priced yarn that's widely available at Michael's etc and the article explains the reasoning behind the design elements. The price of the magazine is totally worth it for the article and this pattern alone.

The photos in the mag are even better. Buy the magazine...(hey! watcha, there's a zombie! got it!)

Also...fan of the Tomato and it's designer Wendy Bernard? There's an interview with her and a cute simple pattern for a cardi!!! You know I love good cardi or 7.

Am I pimpin the Knit Scene? Yes. It's lovely, well done, and so far I've not been in a fight with the editor. We could be future BFF's.

Plumbing Solved! Or...Confession of an Idiot!

So, the house isn't as possessed as possessed by an idiot. Yes, friends, with a little more time, a poop camera, a bigger auger, and some Veronica Mars level detective work, the plumbing problem was solved. Sadly, during the evil be gone plumbing extravaganza, the Qui Ja board pointed right to me as the root of the problem.

No, this does not mean I am a really big dumper. Thanks though. Thanks for thinking that. Long ago, back when the sun shined. Think August. I was in the garage, and decided to hang an Ogre Painted "Welcome Fiends" (Fiends, not Friends) sign. I used a stud finder, to locate a stud. Oddly, it kept pointing to Home Depot, London Style, and then this one section of wall in the garage. I picked out a really big sturdy looking nail and hung up the sign.


Oi Shepards! Was the sign rocking? Didn't it look great? Wasn't the Ogre impressed with how cool it looked hanging in the garage?




Sadly, it was hanging not from a stud, but from this...


The main plumbing pipe from the upstairs! Yeah. The super awesome plumber also noted that most people's houses do not have their plumbing running down the outside wall, thus leading to a really expensive "Welcome Fiends" sign clogging their toilets.

1 Welcome Fiends Sign+ 1 Nail + 1 Plumbing Pipe=2 clogged Toilets and a Tub full of Raw Sewage.



Look! This is my $700 Margarita!





I was also warned not to flush zombie parts.