Party, Cyber Style

What started as me baking 10,000,000 cookies due to new oven joy, turned into "well, this would have been easier if I owned cookie sheets."

Instead of doing what a normal person would do, which is I don't know what because apparently I'm not normal, I contacted my local Pampered Chef dealer.  Turns out, it just happens to be bake ware on sale month!  I thought, hell, if I need stuff to pamper my inner chef, maybe my lovely friends do too.

So, welcome to my online, catalog Pampered Chef Party.

Just hit shop online...and you are on your way.

Party ends Feb 18th, so get your order in.
If you are Kzoo local, I should have real catalogs by Friday, Feb 10.

As it turns out, I am this lazy.  But you could thank me for not flooding your email.

An Adventure before 10 am

Pig 1 is home sick today.  Fever, headache, the whole shabang.  Since Pig 3 had a Dr's appt, and Pig 1 was home sick, Pig 1 put Pig 2 on the bus, which is as funny as it sounds.

Pig 1 is playing video games and resting. I know he's actually sick and not just pulling the "I really need to level up in Skyrim" due to the fever.  I did tell him, at some point he would have to turn the game off and take a nap. 

Pig 3's ears...

Pig 3 failed a school hearing screening in November. He was seen by his Dr's office twice since then. One time to farm the potato sized ear wax out of his head, and another to recheck his hearing post industrial cleaning.

Today a nurse took Pig 3 into the ear testing room for a tympanogram. (Pig 3 is the one who told me which test he had, because he remembers everything.  Which may explain his incredible use of curse words.) I was told it would just take a minute and I could wait outside. I said, "ok" and thought, hahaahaa, yeah, you didn't schedule enough time for what you're about to go through.

As predicted,it took forever. The nurse was trying to get Pig 3's bad ear to pass their damn test, not knowing that the ear not passing the damn test is the actual problem.

As the Dr entered the room sneezing, and snuffly Pig 3 said "Well, that's ironic."  I thought I heard him wrong so I was all "what?"  So, yeah, he said "it's ironic that I'm here to see a doctor, and he's sick."  Ok, Pig 3.  You are 7 and fully know about irony. 

After the cleaning, and waiting 2 months to see if fluid would clear up, his hearing has been deemed impaired due to fluid.  He's being referred to his ENT office.  Oh, please let it be the super short guy in the office!  He's so zazzy. 

Pig 3 will end up either getting a tube, or his ear will clear up by the time we get into the ENT.  Serious.  That's what the Dr said, and that's why I like that guy.

Lessons learned:

Potatoes can be harvested from the human head.
Pig 3 may be super loud due to a medical condition.

HMS Surprise-Well what's your oven's name?

The new oven showed up Friday.  It politely knocked on the door and said, "where's that piece of crap I'm replacing?"  Not only was the new oven replacing the broken oven, but also this sweet little toaster oven.

 

 I baked the hell out of some salmonella in this little oven!  I can't quit you, you're safely going to hibernate in the basement.

There were a few minutes of stress when my beast of convection and traditional cooking was delivered.  Like when nice delivery guy unpacked the stove and hollered into the house, "What color oven were you expecting?"  I flipped out, and said "Stainless? What have I got?"

He was actually just a very thoughtful delivery person.  Since we were getting rid of a white stove, and still have a white range fan, and refrigerator, he was concerned. I explained we were just working our way around the kitchen one appliance at a time.  Which, is not nearly as fun as the Lava Game, and also much more expensive.

Once it was out of the box, and in the house, there were issues getting it into the old oven spot.  I had to leave the room when the oven almost hit dishwasher.

How the hell can the old oven fit in and out of the kitchen and the new one isn't fitting back?

                     DID I REALLY ORDER THE WRONG SIZED OVEN????!!!

This was just going to piss off the Ogre. 

Turns out, the new oven is the sold as the same size as the old one, but the old one lied about it's size.  Both ovens said they were 36 C, but the old one was more like a heavy B.

Here we have the HMS Surprise!

Trust me, I'm as damn sick of hearing about my kitchen as you are.

As in Surprise! it fits! Surprise! dinner isn't raw! Surprise! Wow, that rapid burner is like a jet engine!

There has been so much internet speculation around me getting a new oven that GE actually tweeted me and asked what the first thing I made in the oven was...

Yes, with this magnificent cooking machine, I warmed up leftover pizza.

It's like a 12 step distraction program

I've broken up with Stephanie Plum.  Cold turkey.  I had to stop.  I was beginning to think everyone was carrying a gun, and that my car may explode.

I've been trying to stay busy in an effort to keep from slinking back to girly detective adventures. 

 I've organized a helicopter training facility. 

Three Pigs, three radio control helicopters, and 15 minute at a time flying adventures.  These little choppers are amazing at inducing hysterical bouts of laughter.

Shopping is always a good distracting.

I thought, maybe, it was time to upgrade from slippers and leave the house once in awhile.

I was also tempted by this...

It's a Weasley Sweater!  Made by Tommy Hilfiger. It is possible that the H stands for Hilfiger, but that's stupid, we all know it's a Weasley Sweater. I've always wanted a Weasley sweater and thought the kids were all prats about not wanting to wear them, but I get it now.  That H is cool, but, I don't know if I can seriously wear that.

I passed on the sweater.  But I did manage to get this tiny new oven. 

It's small, because it's so mystical

Now I'm so distracted I can barely do anything but Pin things on Pinterest to match my oven and organize the kitchen!  Don't go there!  Resist! Resist!

Another technique I've been using to stay off the pulp fiction is that old standby knitting!  Yes, knitting can help.  Unless you do the whole audio book thing, or have the balance and agility to read and knit.  I don't have that ability, so it's cool. 

It's possible the knitting is going well, but the personal hygiene is suffering.  I know, I know, it also needs sleeves.  Don't fret!  I am avoiding doing dishes, so that sweater should have sleeves by tonight!

But really, I do need to stop by the library...

Another Book Series wears me down

So I got sucked into this series of books.  It's happened before.  I read all 20 of the Aubrey Maturin books, you know the series that inspired Master and Commander?  I can't tell you an intelligent thing about the Napoleonic Wars or much about global circumvention in a ship, but that Captain Aubrey was a lusty man with a big gun, and some cannons, and cutlasses, and don't forget the seamen!!

The Wizard of Oz, L. Frank Baum wrote more than just the one book.  A whole series, and I had to read it, because, I wanted to know what the hell happened.

Now, thanks to Sarah, I'm on this new series.  It's actually less embarrassing than that bout of adolescent sparkly vampires, but not as good as the series where everyone's hungry.  Sadly, there are an enormous amount of books, with no clear end in sight.

That's were my problem lies, is in the end.  Sarah set me up with One for the Money, a Stephanie Plum mystery, so that we could go see the movie together.  Did you see the word mystery in there?  I hate mysteries.  I read a couple chapters, skip to the end, have no idea whats going on, so I read more of the front of the book, then get back to the last couple chapters and end up reading the whole book from either end until I get to the middle. 

It's like presents.  I know you got me one, so where the hell did you hide it?  I will in fact tear the house apart.

Ugh, 17, no, wait, another one came out not too long ago, 18 books in the series.  I just checked wiki, Stephanie Plum doesn't appear to have married Joe Morelli and currently be living my life.  I think me and the series have to break up. Or, I could start reading from 18 backwards.

Hockey!

Tonight is Frugal Fan Friday at Wings Stadium!  What does that mean to you?  You get a hot dog, a beer, for only a $1!

The K Wings will be playing the Cincinnati Cyclones.  Game starts at 730.

We're going out to support the K Wings, and to support our local Middle School's 6th grade camp program.  A portion of pre game ticket sales went to the program, but I'm in it for the hockey.  Or maybe the cheap beer.

Don't worry, if you want to catch a great game, eat cheap hot dogs, and still support the Middle School, it's not too late!  Come to the game and make sure to buy Pucks for the Chuck-A-Puck!!

Money from the sale of pucks goes to the school and then YOU get to chuck the pucks out on the ice for a chance to win cash.

Hope to see you there.

A 5 minute home improvement

I take a lot of photos of the sink area.  It's my favorite spot in the house.

Look!  Dirty dishes in the sink.

 Honestly a cozy spot in the living room, bundled up under a pile of blankets is my actual favorite spot in the house.  But I do spend a lot of time time standing in this area, so I try to make it pleasant and well organized.

I've been plotting the building of a new, fully operational (death star) kitchen since May 2011 . We've made a lot of updates and it's only a matter of time now until we get a new oven.  I want my new oven to stay pretty, and nice, and not catch on fire, and for the door to fully shut.  I also don't want it to end up like this...

 Yes, on top of the door not fully shutting, it's also rusting out. Plus, this lovely Kenmore model was involved in a lawsuit in 2008.  I don't believe anything ever came of it because the oven was never taken away in handcuffs.

How does an oven rust out in front?  Ogre sized hands, dripping Ogre sized amounts of water onto a human sized hand towel, hanging from the oven door handle.

What's a girl to do?

,
I bought a Rev-A-Shelf Towel bar.  The plan was to hang it to the right of the sink, on the cupboards, at Ogre hand level.  As it turns out, Ogre hand level is my eye level.  Which does explain why he keeps handing stuff to my head.

The instructions made the installation sound easy, three tools, 5 minutes.

For me, this turned into a much more time consuming event.  It took 5 minutes to find the step stool, another 5 minutes to set up the camera. 

Check the smile!  I'm ready to install an oven saving towel rack!

Not the most flattering photo, but really, how the hell do you get up on the counter?  Once here though, I know I can traverse across the kitchen without touching the floor.  Haha lava!  I've defeated you!

Here's were the trouble starts, or continues.  Standing on the counter, using tools, dropping screws was not especially fun.  Things may have been better if say, I had washed and put away the dishes first.  Or, perhaps, I wasn't trying to do home improvement in my slippers.

I was already over the five minute installation time, so I took a snack break. 

I would like to suggest to Rev-A-Shelf that they add snack break to the installation instructions.  Or for the instructions to say 5 minute installation if you have all of your items together, a long screwdriver with a magnetic tip to help with the infuriating process of screwing in screws, and you don't take a snack break to recover from the high level of annoyance brought on by installing our lovely chrome, sliding, two pronged shelf.

In the end I did manage to hang the towel rack.  Please don't hang on it, or look at it harshly. I gave up after putting in only 2 of the 4 screws.